Tuesday, January 27, 2004

This is a long and involved story...

And I'll probably have to come back to it every now and then....

I did have a visit with my little God daughter on Sunday. Now, it seems a bit out of character for me to be a 'god-parent.' I really feel somewhat uncomfortable with the title, since... I ... uh...am an atheist. I suppose I agreed to do it out of loyalty to her family and also I felt it was easier to just agree to do it and avoid having to explain why I could not.

I'm sure a lot of die-hard catholics would be squirming right now at my admission. I am living a lie. I'm supposed to be showing this child how to become a good catholic and christian... and I'm actually a hedonistic, goddless woman.

I do think that in a sense I've made something of a committment to be a role model in her life... which is also ironic (maybe even laughable), since I don't consider myself to be the most upstanding upright individual who always makes the right normal moral choice. Ick, what a dry mouthful. It conjures up images of people struggling to remain 'regular' who shop at Wal-mart, drive unethically enormous vehicles, eat dunkin donuts and believe in Christ's ultimate sacrifice for their salvation.


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