Friday, March 05, 2004

My Dad

I was thinking about my Dad the other night. He's an odd fellow, and he's a bit self-absorbed. He's a know it all, but if you actually look up all the trivia he blurts out, much of it ends up being true. Believe me, I know this from experience. I actually won't claim that his assertion below can be backed up with fact. I've always thought of my dad as a sort of an Asian Cliff Clavin (the postman from Cheers). Except for the most part, he's actually got his facts straight. He liked to put out ridiculous questions or theories sometimes, especially when we were eating out in public:

"Do you know why people have an ass?"
My brother and I would usually respond by laughing or choking on whatever beverage or food item we were consuming.
"No, really. I was thinking about it the other day, and I've decided that after human beings evolved into upright homonids they needed to develop a fleshy area on which to sit on. You see because animals, having four legs, don't actually need to have an ass to sit on or with. Of course, this required them (humans) eventually to develop the need for some sort of wiping apparatus."
My mother would usually cut him off when he started talking about something scatalogical, or she would just roll her eyes.
"Are you sure you just didn't see that on a National Geographic, Dad?"
"No, I think that's the case."

In retrospect I am proud to have him as my Dad, after all he's the only Aetheist Republican I know who actually believes in evolution.

But if I were to take all of the t.v. and film icons of my youth and build a composite of my Dad I'd have to say that he's a cross between Toshiro Mifune and Columbo (with a whole lot of Archie Bunker).

I say this affectionately of course.


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