Sunday, April 25, 2004

If I could wish for three things...

1. Win the Powerball at over 100 million (of course, and I know that it's not very imaginative and I'm fully aware that it would NOT solve all of my problems).

2. Revenge over my enemies. (By now, you've probably figured out that I'm only listing this cliche wishes to accomplish that old standard of listing things in 3's)

3. Most of all... to have turrets syndrome (only at the most opportune moments). I would love to be able to spew from my cubicle... at random moments. Can you imagine what the dynamic duo in the cube nextdoor (the man who cannot explain things and the woman who does not listen) would say if one of their customary arguments was interrupted by...

Cocksucker! Fuck face! Fuck Face!. Shit! Shit! Shit!!!

Did you ever wonder what a person with turrets who were born in a completely isolated environment and culture (not that that's completely possible now adays) ... how would the swear? What would they sound like if they had never at all been exposed to profanity? Would they just make animal sounds. Though I think it would be funny if I spent half the afternoon barking and oinking sporadically in my cube.

Imagine how the Amish would swear. You dull axe wielding son of a carpenter who builds lopsided barns... For all I know the Amish could have the filthiest mouths in the world... after all I don't speak German.


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