Wednesday, April 07, 2004

Response to Brian - regarding 27 years old and ripe enough to bear fruit

So you're friend's bio clock is going off?

Uh... she should make sure she's got the right sperm donor for her eggs. I've seen too many women settle for the first guy who lies still. If you ask me marriage is highly over-rated, most especially with the WRONG individual. I think I'm being realistic in saying... for most individuals in this fast-serve society, your average long-term relationship, unless of course you are bonded by plastic adhesive or punitive belief system that contends that you will go to hell if you are living in sin, lasts about 5-7 years. Those people who wait until they are a little older to pair-bond usually stay together longer, and there's a reason why second marriages are usually far more successful than first marriages. The problem is when you're in you're 20's and ready to procreate your criteria for choosing a mate is based primarily on what makes you horny (excuse me) and for women, add to that some pretty muddled ideals that come from creative play with Barbie and the Betty Crocker Easy Bake Oven (don't worry I didn't cook her... in the oven) and you've got the perfect equation for picking the wrong partner... or at least being a little misguided about your selection. Those people on Jerry Springer, the ones who reveal that their secret lover is their son's friend's girlfriend, I don't think that they were thinking about whether or not their partner would be a good choice for the long term.

Plenty of women in their 20's dig bad boys... I guess the you can find the older ones who haven't learned their lesson on Jerry Springer. They haven't realized that it's not all about being bad, as you can be 'bad' in ways that don't wreak mental and emotional havoc on those around you. You can be 'bad,' exciting, passionate... without having to drop into that category of patio furniture owning republican. No offense, to republicans, especially those who believe that Darwinian theory is still a plausible theory. I guess I could be accused of having the 'bad boy' fetish... once. I’ve added my theory below about why the ‘bad boy’ has become an icon for male attraction. I suppose there's nothing wrong with that as long as you're not too serious about settling down, and you don't let anyone drag you down, but the heart is a pretty heavy item and the science of attachment can open up a web of intricate traps. I think I may have just opened a big can of worms.

Too many people base their self-worth on being in a partership with the opposite sex - or in a romantic partnership. Sorry... I'll get off this box now. I seem to be getting on it quite frequently.

Why do we enjoy bad boys? – this is for pure entertainment only…and I’m still working on it.

Maybe it’s me and the my constant need to have a reasonably logical answer to most human behavior, but I have always felt that humans and their instincts have been influenced and shaped by the many eons of life that have passed since our days as hairy ape-like primitives who wandered the Earth. More, our ways of interacting today have been influenced by our animal and biological past.

Perhaps at one point we, the fairer-sex, were once drawn to the most aggressive males because we assumed that these were the ones who would
a.) provide some protective power over us and our brood
b.) pass on successfully strong/aggressive genes to our offspring…

At some point aggressive was translated into ‘bad’ (as in bad-ass, leather jacket wearing, aggressive, insolent, smart-ass, rugged-looking, devil-may-care) or any other adjectives you might apply to the quintessential bad boy.

Good-looking... that's another criteria... and I've met some pretty squat looking individuals who still qualify as 'bad boys... and they still seem to be able to reel in the chicks.


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