Monday, May 10, 2004

Evil Empire?

Last night I dreamt that I was working as a teacher in some old dilapidated school building. My students had just been released for recess and I was working on setting up for the afternoon lessons. The principal and some ‘district official’ had come to the classroom to inform me that I was being fired for leaking information about the school to the general public. I don’t think I felt anything other than mild annoyance and perhaps the fear that I would not be able to find work in the outside world.

Of course, all of this must have been highly influenced by my sentiments toward work. I might even have entertained the fear that I could be fired for writing in my blog. I write here because I feel like I don’t get little mental or creative recompense at my job. Even the building represented in my dream was old and dilapidated. The systems and bureaucracy that influence this group I work with in have begun to resemble the ineffectual and sluggish nature of the public schools. Perhaps I’ve discovered that I don’t like working in organizations where change is hard to push or near impossible.

I’m very aware, mind you, of the mentality that persists here… that one should be benefit from the rocky and parched soil of this working environment, and that only the paranoid survive. Somehow I believe that there IS life after the protestant work ethic. We can live past this Calvinist mentality that we can only work within the confines of the existence pre-determined by ranking groups, grade levels, and corrective action plans or that we’re doomed to working for the MAN because there are few or no other alternatives because jobs are not as plentiful as the government would like us to believe.

Personally, I can’t survive living in this environment governed by paranoia and fear, plus I don’t think it will serve this company well in the long run either. I wonder what sort of fresh hell the people at S-mart (remember I'm not using the 'real' names of companies in this blog) have to go through. Perhaps I’m just a spoiled (aging) gen-x brat stuck on the notion that we need to have and can still work in systems that work, and that management needs to listen to the people at the bottom. Maybe I’m just as wiley as Scott Evil, as his father asserts… that his son is astute in suspecting that his father is actually out to kill him… Similarly, I could be just as astute or correct in suspecting that the upper management doesn’t really even want to pay attention to the gripes of the employees below them because they’re planning to get rid of them in the long run.

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