Wednesday, May 05, 2004

I've learned something about myself in the past week or so, I'm not as outspoken and extroverted as I fancy myself to be. Maybe it's just because I work in an organization replete with people who would rather look at the wall or their shoes than look you in the face. I've seen people stumble and fall in the parking lot (and it's happened to me too) and two or three individuals will walk by the falling person without asking if they're okay. I've used the cockroach analogy to describe the motion and reactions I've seen in the hallways.

But I've found that I can be extremely non-confrontational and submissive. You might not think so after reading the earlier posts in this blog and for the most part, I'm known (at least at work) as a more outspoken, all right, loud person. I've caught myself apologizing for things that are beyond my control. Lately, it's been happening a lot more, because I feel pressed with the amount of work I have. Though you might argue that I'd have more time to work if I didn't write in this blog at all. My only answer to this, I that I feel empty at work most of the time. So no I will not apologize for writing here.

You look at people who make it in the corporate world, at least in our micro-universe at this company, and the people who make it (especially women) are the ones who can hide their feelings and who are very tacit about how they choose their words. Women and men who speak directly don't have too much of a place here, but after reading the definitions of Emotional Intelligence in people who are successful in business, it's clear that these people are better at assessing when they should speak and when they should hold their tongues.


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