Friday, September 16, 2005

If Hitler were an unsuccessful artist today...

He'd probably be a clipart artist. Though I'm wondering it's usually these sort of artists who make more money at least enough to survive comfortably. But yet they've had to pimp themselves out to create aesthetically devoid crap for MicroSoft.

I've decided that I'm going to post the most unappealing or ridiculous clipart I can find... there's something that's almost kitschy about clipart. Here's one... the Joker in his younger years before he turned to a life of crime. Little do we know, but this hardcore Gotham villian was once a promising junior marketing executive. A freak accident incurred by a chemical reaction from a mass whiteboard pen accident, rendered this corporate protoge into the insane meglo-maniac he is today. A corporate boss of one of the top ranking Fortune 500 companies in the world.

Men don't have lips that look like that.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Process Flows for the Faithful

I had to sit through several agonizing hours of business process review today. There was the usual heated argument over which direction the arrow should flow, maybe during a really passionate moment two people would argue over the wordage in a decision box. I started sketching process flows of my own in order to keep head from slamming against the table because I had been rendered unconscious.

I'm afraid to post pictures here because the damn image loader usually fucks up my navigation menu in my other blogs. Though I'm pretty sure that these have been done before, and I'm no theologian, that's for sure. I did do a flow chart to describe my descent into hell. I'm pretty sure if there is one I'll probably end up in the suburbs of Hell not purgatory.

Note that the Calvinists have no decision boxes.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Yeah you're right...

George Bush Doesn't Like Black People

Words transcribed here:

Friday, September 09, 2005

Project Managment... blah, blah, blah

I'm one of those people who really gets put off by things from the first impression I get. There I said it. When I first came to this group and sat in the various meetings I really felt as if people were wagging their tongues just to sound good. Program management... blah, blah, blah... Gantt Chart and stakeholder buyoff (sounded like beat off at first)... blah, blah, blah... Critical success indicators.... blah, blah, blah....

Fuck you all.... blah,blah,blah.

Learn to think for yourselves..... blah- blah- blah.

I frightened myself the other day because I sat in a meeting and realized that I was effectively speaking the language.

At the onset in this group... I felt as if I was retarded. People threw acronyms and business lingo as if they were slinging clever aphorisms or retorts, and although there are always people in an organization who simply just want to do good work and make great or good products there will always be those individuals who have to throw as many 35 cent acronymsas they can into their speech... or people who continually schedule meetings to make themselves look important (and then cancel them the day before so they don't have to do the work of attending the meetings or more or less owning the expected outcomes. I have to remember that there are still people who value quality and a job well done over quantity.

A friend of mine who works in an organization here discovered a group that basicially spent half their time trying to justify their existance with charts and spreadsheets... statistics and beefed and pimped up projects surrounding relatively simple and automatable processes. I have a few colleagues who feel that it's justifiable to pass on mediocre work because the system and organization does not afford them the time to do a better job. I told myself today.... I'm just going to ignore these people and work around them until I find a better job. Why should I let my own experience and accomplishments suffer because the standards I work amongst are lower than my own.

On another note... I found the time to post on my knitting blog.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Science, evolution and vermin control

Jesus Christ! I've done everything to our dogs... Used pet meds, dipped them bathed them, combed them every day for fleas, but the goddamn little buggers keep on coming back. We've even kept our grass cut extremely short. The best method I've found so far is to just comb them in the bathroom after they've been playing outside. Keep a wet piece of toilet paper in one hand to immediately remove the fleas from the comb. This way you can drown and squish the fleas at once. Toss the paper in the toilet after you've caught several and repeat the process with another fresh piece of damp toilet paper. Flush all flea carcasses down the toilet.

Perhaps the fleas that are out there have developed a resistance to the anti-flea pet medication we put on our pets, and as a fleas's cycle is about five weeks... and if only the fittest fleas resistant to the pet medication survive it's only a matter of months or a year before the entire population of fleas in an area has become resistant to vet purchased flea medication. Oh all you proponents of Intelligent Design... explain how this happens.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Hi, Torren, thanks for checking in. I've been swamped with some projects they have me on at work. But I still search on. My job search hit a lull when I realized that I'd hit the denoument in the yearly hiring cycle. However, sometimes it turns out that companies or departments right about now realize that a.) they have extra money to hire b.) they bit off more than they can chew in terms of projects, and as a result their hiring right now. Right now I have a couple of leads working with smaller companies located downtown. I'd love a job down there because it would mean that I don't have to drive. I could take the MAX into work or even cycle to work. If I get called back on a one or two of these, I just need to decide which one is the 'safer' (more stable choice) as well as which is the 'better fit' for me. Suppose it's like (and I hate to use this old cliche) picking the better horse.

About not writing here...

The writing was happening, just not here.

I think I've been going through a fairly dark patch lately. I decided that I wasn't pushing anything out that wasn't being influenced by my morbid moods, so I stopped. I also felt as if the demands and restrictions of my job and the environment that I was working with were driving me to become a little caustic. I was and still am having a hard time dealing with the sort of denial that is rife in corporate living. I laugh because I've always thought that denial leads people to drink... and that denial requires a sort of fortitude to hold it up like awkward buttresses. Some people here at my work must have enough to hold up the fucking Notre Dame Cathedral. In any case the bitterness was giving fruit to something that I needed to express, but I felt better working it all out in my notebooks.

It was strange really, writing on paper again. Imagine that.

I know this will also sound silly, but I suddenly became aware of my exhibitionism after almost a year and a half of being in the blog world. To touch on a biblical metaphor, maybe biting the bitter apple made me all too aware of my 'nakedness.'

There is another reason too why I have not posted any recipes or other items other than the babbling on my sewing blog... I think that although the concepts in the article below apply to business blogs, they also apply to blogger and the personal blog world.


Thank you for the suggestion of the author you mentioned. I will definitely look into finding this book. I have to remember and I do that the core values espoused by Christianity are ideals or standards which are worth aspiring to. I was watching that Comedian Emo Phillips the other day and he pretty much summed up how I came to see Catholicism by the time I was eleven years old:

When I was a boy I prayed and prayed to get a bicycle. Then I realized that that wasn't how the Lord worked, so I stole one and asked for his forgiveness later.

I am not a practicing Christian or Catholic anymore, but often times I take issue more with how the values in the form of doctrine are enforced or followed by Christian organizations and some of their followers (namely the Fundamentalists). Fundamentalism in any religion is the deathknoll of that religion because at this point you must assume the absolute and unquestioning belief of and compliance to all doctrine (of all those who follow). Moreover, it creates the assumption that the world of human beings is divided into two groups... those who believe and those who do not. Then by nature of politics and the survival of memes... the religious organization's goal is to encompass or convert as many people as possible. Human nature is far too complex and resilient to expect all people to believe unquestioningly... or at least that's how I see it. Besides you need that element that questions otherwise there is no true progress of ideas (an consequently science) and the world becomes static... but then that's what Conservatism is all about... keeping things the way they were.

I've come to believe lately that believing 'fundamentally' restricts one's own ability to see the truth (though the concept of truth itself is highly objective). People I've worked with often view me an Asian Wednesday Addams... My humor either irritates or befuddles their sensibilities. They must think of me as one of those esoteric existentialists whose dark perception prevents me from seeing the world as they see it from their optimistic' camera obscura. I am the person who asks too many questions, looks at things far too critically. I want to pull things apart then put them back together, I want to look at more than just two scenarios of use when it comes to conceptualizing and planning design mainly because I'm eternally fascinated with how humans interact with tools. Just get the product out and rolling they tell me we need to follow our work objectives and org. goals. I want to make something that was worth my time, I answer back. And the overall atmosphere of denial allows them to believe that they can create products with little or poorly trained resources, or that they can expect their folks to work 70 to 80 hours weeks.