Cooking with the Mental Office Girl

I'm Back

2006-11-22T09:16:00.000-08:00

Probably no one reads this blog... but that's okay.

A lot has happened. I'm now married.... happily so. We have discovered that my husband does better on a Gluten-free (or light) diet. So I'm resurrecting this rusty old blog to start documenting some of the recipes we've discovered and have concocted.

I'll try to post some articles and resources to gluten-free diet.

If I can just say one thing...

Avoid using rice-flour in large amounts when creating "Western-style" cakes and pastries (with the exception of some shortbreads).

It seems that every recipe for cake we've tried using rice flour as a substitute has come out tasting like a hockey puck or brick made with chalk and grit.

Against the wall in Corporate America

2006-06-30T19:12:00.000-07:00

So there's been a push to change our business... but still I see signs of this company slipping back into it's old familiar pattern of static bureaucracy and being paralzyed by top-down command structure.

They tried promoting innovation but did so without being really prepared to change the culture here that (grew steadily over time) prevents real innovation/innovative behavior from happening.
They did let go of the reigns and allowed some people to be a little creative, but in some areas it's freaking some of the people in the old school out. We can't use that... blogging, building connective networks, web 2.0, widgets... it's all too scary for us...DON'T MAKE US CHANGE!

Lately, I've been feeling that people here have acquiesced to that feeling that they are powerless to affect change. People continue to be afraid to be honest, and those who are are consistently ignored or their questions are diverted with the same old bullshit. I've been trying hard to ignore them.... all of them. On top of that people are freaked out about loosing their jobs. Me... yes, it would suck if I couldn't make an income, but then again... I've been thinking, planning and scheming to leave. It might be a good time to do so.

It's easy to let it get you down. I know... I struggle with it every day almost... and I'm no Miss Mary Sunshine believe me, but still... I want something better eventually.

2006-06-13T06:24:00.000-07:00

Why has conservatism made such a resurgence?
Because it can and because this is the best time to do so.

People have more than at any other time in our history access to large amounts of information. We can maintain continual daily personal contact via technological avenues with people from other parts of the world. Access to such a wealth of information will bring upon torrents of change. Conservatism doesn't want change (unless it's to promote it's preservation).

I lost the remote

2006-05-19T07:18:00.000-07:00

I was eating my bowl of cereal today and I'd turned the T.V. on. The regular channels now have paid advertisements on them during the breakfast time. Some geezer was trying to sell me the power of God, and in his testimonial he went on about how he put all his objects d'addiction before himself and entreat God to save him from them.... booze, cigarettes, sweets, coffee. Each time he'd put them on the table in front of him and play his own teatre d'Gesemene with the object of his desire. I thought... must have been really hard to get a hooker up on that table.

What was this man going off on?... obviously he had a pathological problem with addiction. Perhaps he should have been going to the altar of Prozac. I wondered what would have become of him if he were a caveman - you know right at the cusp of when we came from hairy monkey men. Would he have fallen out of a tree and cracked his skull because he was trying so hard to get to that bee-hive to get honey. Would he have accidentally eaten the wrong mushroom because he was trying to get high? Or would he have been disemboweled by a hungry sabre toothed tiger because he was just jonesing a little too much for that adrenaline rush from taking too great a risk... well, maybe not that... he didn't look like the daredevil type.

This says something about things being readily available to us though... it's harder to be addicted to something when it's not within arm's reach. Maybe this is where acetism comes from. The Essenes put themselves in self-imposed exile away from the worldly life so they could study and contemplate on the word of God. You cannot control your desire or perceived need of something so you have to set an 'externally' imposed limit upon yourself. Damnit God tells you you DONT NEED that Krispy Kreme donut.

Main Entry: pa·thol·o·gy
Pronunciation: -jE
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -gies
Etymology: New Latin pathologia & Middle French pathologie, from Greek pathologia study of the emotions, from path- + -logia -logy
1 : the study of the essential nature of diseases and especially of the structural and functional changes produced by them
2 : something abnormal: a : the structural and functional deviations from the normal that constitute disease or characterize a particular disease b : deviation from propriety or from an assumed normal state of something nonliving or nonmaterial

Quotes on Mediocrity

2006-05-16T15:39:00.000-07:00

All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.
- Scott Alexander

The real Antichrist is he who turns the wine of an original idea into the water of mediocrity.
-Eric Hofer

We gain nothing by being with such as ourselves. We encourage one another in mediocrity. I am always longing to be with men more excellent than myself.
-Charles Lamb

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. -Bill Vaughn

Your most dangerous competitors are those that are most like you.
-Bruce Henderson

Any corporate policy and plan which is typical of the industry is doomed to mediocrity. Where this is not so, it should be possible to demonstrate that all other competitors are at a distinct disadvantage.
-Bruce Henderson

Need to jump off...

2006-05-05T07:22:00.000-07:00

I had a dream last night where I was talking to an internal customer at work and they were encouraging me to apply for a job in their area or group.

My group could be worst, and it could be better. We could have better leadership, but then again we could have better teamwork as well. At least there are a handful of people here who can still speak their mind.

I've been thinking that I don't want to work for training anymore because people consider training to be useless or namby-pamby or at the very least glorified document control people. You know educators just get the crapper, no matter where they are placed in this society. In the world of pedagogy or the fast-paced competitive world of the corporate whore. I'm just moaning right now. It will pass.

I think I'm going through this lull right now... I had a great burst of energy at the beginnning of the year where I felt all gung ho about spearheading these initiatives to promote better collaboration of efforts at work to enhance possibilities for innovation. I finally felt like my brain, my ability to problem solve was being valued over my ability to follow directions correctly.

Changes

2006-04-28T09:21:00.000-07:00

Well, they're talking about 'laying off' people again. Is it me or am I just tired, plain tired. This time there are no shiny severance packages, or paid time off deals. Just da boot (essentially). I've been through two or three of these cuts, I've weathered having to take another person or two's workload in addition to my own. I'm leathered and worn, but that seems to be the behavioral pattern of American corporations: use you, trash you, lose you.

I kept thinking of my nest egg, yes, it's my retirement, but maybe it would be put to better use if I started something on my own. I can't really start with details when I come up with ideas, but I had an inpirational sharing with someone else who was near fed up with work. She was interested in springing out on her own as well. It was nice to see someone else who had hopes and dreams outside the grey corporate world. But what would I do? What would I build?

Something lucrative, something that would help others.

Personally, until recently I was experiencing a renaissance of attitude in my job. I felt supported by my manager and encouraged to try new and innovative things. I felt that suddenly my ability to think and plan things out was valued. Which wasn't always the case. I was always thought of in this place as the weird kid... the one who refused to keep their desk neat and trim. I felt this positive attitude and faith in me spill out into other ideas and possibilities. I'll just have to keep things going.

2006-03-18T13:13:00.000-08:00

http://www.impeachthemotherfuckeralready.com/2006/03/welcome.html

I did it to keep my job

2006-02-05T23:02:00.000-08:00

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/business/steffy/3635913.html

So said one of the former Enron executives. In my mind I embellish the moment by imagining the crappy pencilled court drawing of him cradling his sobbing head in his trembling hands. Like that would ever happen. I feel that it's these sort of know-nothings who perpetuate corporate ills. Not only that, they don't encourage assessment and addressing of company problems. Within my own company I've seen evidence of people on the higher and lower ends not raise flags to problems large and small because they don't want to be the 'downer.' They don't want to rock the boat. They don't want it to reflect on their performance review.

Enron seems to be the poster child of corporuptations or corporate corruption gone awry, but I feel that it's the "60 minute" story that highlights what's really wrong with with the corporate environment today: False optimism and denial.

Maybe it's me, and maybe one day my head will roll, but I can't live my life without standing by the idea that the world can be better when we do two things: 1.) acknowledge the truth 2.) stand by the idea that quality is king/queen. I've been trying to work on honing down my cantankyrus demeanor. It's been hard, but a friend of mine at work shared a tool that he uses to influence others positively. If I could make a prayer cards with these sayings I would. Every Catholic kid who sat outside the vestibule/church thumbing through the church bulletins and pamphlets while their parents were busy socializing at church knows what these are. Kids like to collect things especially shiny glossy bits of paper.

To build relationships to get better results some opening phrases to use. Much of it is touchy feely biz-u speak, but still a lot of it makes common sense and when in Rome... Of course when applying words sincerity should be a must.

In my time of need... when I want to say what's on my mind...

I suggest/propose/recommend...
What if...
Here's an idea...
It's important to me
I need...

When I need to convince others of the value of my idea...
Here's why...
There are a few reasons why I think this would benefit blank...
I've looked into the possibility for blank and here are my results...
We are (both/all) concerned about the following...
This could help us achieve (common goal)...

When I need to gain alignment/foster enthusiasm...
Here's what I believe is possible...
Picture this...
I can see us...
We are capable of...
I believe that as a team..

It's time to choose our words carefully

2006-01-31T16:37:00.000-08:00

No... Republicans are not Nazis or Fascists... this article brings up a really good point:

http://www.brainshrub.com/republicans-not-nazis

The word Nazi has become synonomous with unseemly terms like bastard, tosser, wanker... etc. It's probably better to come up with concrete reasons why you are comparing anyone to a Nazi. Contrary to what the article above notes, and maybe it's all the bad press that the look has garnered over they years, but I don't think the Nazis were 'snazzy' dressers. Think about it, as a comedian once said years ago... Hitler really put a damper the popularity of rectangular mustaches.

Patch of blue sky

2006-01-28T14:45:00.000-08:00

The clouds have cleared so that there are patches of blue in the sky. That's odd in the land where mold is the state flower and people don't carry umbrellas because they think... what's the point? But my moods are somewhat dark today anyway, because of the state of fear are living in lately. I start to think... Historians must be fairly patient people (the ones who uphold the truth at least). Because as long as they live long enough to see the gamut of human political experiments in their lifetimes, and to see the pendulum of progress swing back and forth the only constant that they can be sure of is that people don't really pay heed to history or to the historians for that matter.

Will the Fear of Googling grow prevalent? I think it was not more than a year ago and on this blog even that I noted how wonderful it was to have the internet... because it allowed us easier access to tools of knowledge, and on a very simplistic level it's was like a genie of questions and answers. Why should I even be careful not to say the wrong things here? Am vulnerable? But what are the wrong things? Who determines what is wrong? And just exactly how important am I? I'm but one person. What about the billions of others who are capable of clear and lucid thought?

I must not be the only individual who is concerned about such things because if you look at the most searched/link to news stories on Google they are the stories which relate to the items the Google and NSA stories rise to the top of the pile. Isn't it a coincidence to that in the last few years more people have resorted to finding their news on the internet rather than relying on television and newspapers? At least on the internet you have a choice. Access to information (at least in most countries) is not restricted. If you don't trust your local news agency or the television you can search for news online. You may have to sift through information to find the stuff that does not have it's integrity compromised but at least you have the ability to sift and choose.

So what happens when people fear? What happens when information is restricted? What happens when people must fear situations which put them in contact with foreign contacts? What happens when property rights have become challenged or denegrated so that it's easy for any system in power to confiscate it if given 'ample' cause? What happens when people can be classified as sub-citizens?

What happens? Progress stops...and the position and rights of the people as a whole become compromised.

At these times it is the people (the very group which these so called freedom restricting measures are designed to 'protect') who become the weak and the helpless victims of the state. While there may be threats to our national security, then perhaps we as people should be more vigilant about what truly effective measures should be taken to put an end to these threats. These threats should be pursued and allayed.

I believe in the greatness of this country. And we achieved this greatness because we as a nation embraced and protected freedoms on all levels. I think it rather ironic that the same people who tout the phrase 'freedom isn't free,' are readily willing to relinquish their own freedom because they are convinced that they themselves could never be seen as a threat. Somehow I fear that when people start resorting to such thoughts a frenzy of blame and persecution lies just beyond the horizon of the present.

“Whoever would overthrow the liberty of a nation must begin by subduing the freeness of speech.”—Benjamin Franklin

Oh My God... I need to stab myself with a fork

2006-01-26T20:26:00.000-08:00

I hate night time meetings.
More, I hate night time meetings where people are yelling at each other.
I'm sitting in a product design meeting...they're arguing about customizations to SAP.
These meetings are painful.

Besides this... I've decided to take some time to developing training material for something I find interesting, and a product that I respect and believe in. Could it be Blender?

http://blender.org/cms/Home.2.0.html

J. has been using a new opensource product for 3D modeling called Blender. Blender as a product intrigues me because it is one of those fabled 'open source' products. Coming from an industry where tool development is not so focused on quality of design as producing results for time to market... it's really nice to see a tool that has been developed by people who are passionate about the tool and care about the quality. So I'm intrigued.

There are plenty of tutorials being created for Blender, but I want to take some time to explore the tool and also understand it's benefits/uses from the viewpoint of the users. So I've got to set some time limits for me otherwise I'll just let this project sit out there without acting on it. So I've decided that I'll finish the exploration of the product and some initial analysis for training/tutorial opportunities by the end of the month.

Saturday procrastination... Oh Yeah, I'm a Bride!

2006-01-21T12:23:00.000-08:00

Or I will be...

It's Saturday and I have to shoot a bunch of simulation movies in Captivate and edit a few audio presentations because I have to... I know it's Saturday and I shouldn't be working. So I've been surfing the net here for about two hours.

On sort of a side note... we're getting married. I mean my Boyfriend and I. Everytime I use that word I always think of the Frau Blucher character from Young Frankenstein. "Yes, Yes... Say IT!!!... he's my......BOYFRIEND!!!"

No, I'm not pregnant.

We considered running away to Vegas. I especially considered it after looking through the Bridal Planners at Barnes and Noble... Holy FUcking SHIT! WHAT IS ALL THIS CRAP!!!!!

My mother convinced me to go with herand my friend to the Bridal Show, and I went reluctantly.

"You really need to go to eliminate the possibilities," she counseled.

Well, after seeing it all. I've eliminated about 99.6% of what I saw at the show. The best thing about these shows really are the cake samples. I went with a girlfriend of mine from work and whispered to her... "Holy Smokes... look at all the chicks that looked like they're not even 20!" I felt like such an old tart compared to them. Then I considered the tens of thousands of dollars some of them (or their parents more likely) would shell out for their weddings. I personally knew of someone whose family spent about forty-five thousand dollars, and then she got divorced two years later. "Save it for round two," I thought. "You're just going to waste it on an asshole the first time around. " Not that it always has to end up that way... Hell, I really didn't know what I wanted when I was 19.

I started keeping a blog about our ideas for the wedding. It's sort of a record for myself as well as a place to write down observations about the process.

http://marrysheesh.blogspot.com/

Long live the geek in all of us... Go Densha Otaku!

2006-01-20T15:41:00.000-08:00

More on Densha Otaku

I never considered myself the kind of person who develops obsessions... other than knitting and maybe reading on history/philosopy... but Densha Otaku has now officially become the first obsession of the year. Maybe I relate to the drama because there's a big part of me who's pretty much an Otaku nerd myself.

It's really easy to route for hero 'little Densha/aka. Yamada-san,' as well as laugh vengefully when Densha's more attractive, well-off and socially acceptable rival get's dissed by the girl.
But what I've really fallen in love with when it comes to this story is simply the idea that you can thrive with self-confidence by simply accepting yourself as you are, and that you're more likely to find better friends and partners once you've embraced this concept. As one character asks... "What about otaku pride!?"

One thing I will caution viewers about with this story... watching just one show can be mentally/emotionally taxing mainly because you're held at the edge of your seat... that and Densha/Yamada's over-the-top reactions can add to the stress of the viewing experience.

What does seem clear is that this internet pygmallion story does seem to have captured the whole heart and attention of japan. Apparently based on a real life thread on a chat section, the posting room became so popular that the text of the site was compiled and published and a few hundered thousand copies were sold in the next few weeks. The story has inspired numerous manga, the T.V. Series, a movie and even a play.

What does this say about modern relationships and how people reach out to each other?Apparently technology does fill a void. At least in Japan. Without the help of his Aladdin chat comrades, Densha would never have been able to muster up the courage to change himself, while looking inside of himself to see what was undeniably him and perhaps the qualities that really did make him attractive. Strangely, anominity available in the chat atmosphere might inspire people like the characters in the show to be more honest and forthcoming. Don't get me wrong, I'm not dissing the whole idea of having friends online. I can see the appeal, but believe that it's still good to keep lines out in the real world.

Funny how I as I watch this show, I keep thinking in horror that Disney will buy the story and convert it to some crappy 4th rate plot with moralistic overtones featuring the Olsen twins. God no! I hate how American corporate entertainment culture takes a good story and absolutely ruins it. They must be stopped!

P.S. you may recognize the ELO soundtrack/anime theme opening from the revolutionary Daikon reels from early Anime history.

More about the show:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Densha_Otoko

Article on a play based on the story...
http://www.japantimes.co.jp/cgi-bin/getarticle.pl5?ft20050907a1.htm
Recently, there has been a sense of stagnation in the Japanese contemporary drama world following a period of lively international collaboration -- the wholesale acceptance of foreign texts has led to adaptations that don't take into consideration the real difficulties in translating them for a Japanese audience. But this "Densha Otoko" is proof indeed that there are still people here with plenty to say -- in marvelously creative ways -- about the society in which we live.

Known for his varied multimedia works, Tsutsumi builds a huge screen as a backdrop, with multilevel towers to either side of the stage, where otaku sit in front of PC screens in their four-tatami rooms. As each of these geeks communicates with the others, what they type comes up on the big screen, where their lives are also described as they themselves act out their roles.

From Japan Times:
http://www.japantimes.com/cgi-bin/getarticle.pl5?ek20041118br.htm

A new best seller has appeared, bringing an old-fashioned love story into the digital age. "Densha Otoko (Trainman)," whose author writes under the pseudonym Nakano Hitori, is the saga of the romance of a 22-year-old otaku, the "Trainman," with "Miss Hermes," an attractive young woman he saves from the unwelcome attentions of a drunk on a train on his way home from Akihabara (Tokyo's otaku Mecca).
This story first came to public attention as postings from March through May this year on a message board on the Web site 2 Channel (Nichanneru) in which Trainman asked for and received advice from fellow geeks on how to approach Miss Hermes. These postings from Trainman reporting on the progress of his new relationship, and of encouragement from hundreds of anonymous well-wishers, were published in book-form by Shinchosha last month, selling over 260,000 copies in three weeks.
The tale of Trainman's transformation from a hapless geek to a self-confident young man in a relationship with an actual real-life young woman is indeed heartwarming. In his first posting he tells of his chance encounter in the train; two days later he receives a set of Hermes teacups from her as a thank-you gift and obsesses online on whether or not to telephone her and ask for a date. Finally he plucks up the courage to call her and they agree to meet for dinner -- his first ever date with a woman.

Blog about otaku-ness:
http://www.cjas.org/~leng/lainspotting/2005/07/otaku-mania.html

His mother is representing him in his next performance review

2006-01-18T19:47:00.000-08:00

I thought it was a joke when I read a reference to this item in a professional journal, but a friend of mine brought this up from another article he had read.... WTF! Grow some balls. I can only hope that this is an urban myth. What kind of pride to you have if you allow you mother to defend you at your rating session.

I couldn't believe this, so I had to google it.

http://blog.fastcompany.com/archives/2005/10/12/this_is_your_new_workforce_gen_y.html

So it is true, but what gets me is that business are encouraged to "deal" with it. One company even had to arrange a 'sit down' between johnny, mom, the boss, and an H.R. representative. Now who needs to grow a set of chungas?

That's the bad side. On the otherside, this generation can appear to be highly optimistic and idealistic. They have high expectations of their places of employement and their role in things. I see this as a good thing. Though as always, I would temper optimism with some caution. Have a positive outlook and always strive for quality, but always have a plan just in case something doesn't go your way.

http://www.generationsatwork.com/articles/millenials.htm

My favorite TV shows for now

2006-01-13T17:23:00.000-08:00

Casanova
... Heath Ledger and that chick that's sleeping with Jude Law... no I'm not talking about the movie version, but the one that was on BBC3. Besides the movie was probably part of Ledger's post-Brokeback Mountain campaign to reassert his hetero-ness.

More on

Okay I feel stupid

2006-01-06T16:28:00.000-08:00

Looks like it was still there. I just typed the address in wrong. I was ranting and raving for nothing. This seems like a technique used by other companies. I remember my brother saying once there was a domain name called amazom.com with the misspelling because the company assumed that there would be enough people who would get to the site because of mistyping... must be the same thing placed here.

Still... that's a pretty devious trick.

Oh Crafster, where art thou?!!!

2006-01-06T13:21:00.000-08:00

I just went onto Crafster.org to discover that it was replaced by a bunch of crappy ads. Does anyone know where the original Craftster site went or is it just gone... Poof!

Why, God, why? Why do you give us a place like the internet where ideas can be shared and we can learn so much, then you send the nasty capitalists and copyrighters who take the ability to share knowledge freely away.

Will we be sent back to the dark ages again?... though in a way I sort of miss going to the library to leaf through books and search through articles. For my parents (and obviously this will give away my age range because I grew up right on the edge of an era where parents were not afraid to leave their children in public places)... the library was a cheaper alternative to a baby sitter. I used to spend hours in the library rifling through books, reading... Looking up answers to questions I had on things I was fascinated with from Baba Yaga to cooking walnut pastries to the Loch Ness Monster and mummified remains ( I was a big fan of In Search Of- with Leonard Nimoy...okay, so that dates me again). I remember often getting stuck in a section and reading through books on the Dogon Star and the Dogon people.

But where is our beloved Craftster? Does anyone know... or is there another alternative? If I wasn't so doggone busy I'd start one myself.

Who put the Swiss into Steak?

2006-01-05T19:50:00.000-08:00

I recently developed this obsession with Swiss steak. Maybe it's because I was rifling through someone elses cookbook on Christmas morning and the recipe caught my eye. Maybe it's because I remember it was one of the dishes prepared by one of the sisters in that movie A Thousand Acres. Sort of a disturbing post-modern version of King Lear set in the American Heartland... except in this story King Lear screws his daughters. Yes... disturbing to say the least.

Maybe that's why I don't like Swiss Steak, but more likely, every time I was exposed to it at school potlucks or block parties it was always the version made with Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup. Now, I'm not necessarily dissing canned soup. I'd eat it if I was stuck at home during a natural disaster for months under a quarantine, and it was the last can of food in my cupboard. I'd rather eat fresh durian or braving the stench of the freshly peeled fruit just to get a bit of the sweet tender fruit. It's no wonder that some hotels in Asia forbid you from taking the fruit up to your room. Though honestly, I should really give Swiss steak a better break. I found a recipe below which uses mushrooms and tomatoes instead of mushroom and cream gravy. It sounds very much like a recipe for flank steak I remember enjoying as a child.

SWISS STEAK

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Swiss steak is a method of preparing meat, usually beef, by means of rolling or pounding, and then braising in a cooking pot, either on a stove (cooker) or in an oven. The name does not refer to Switzerland, but instead to the process of "swissing", which refers to fabric or other materials being pounded or run through rollers in order to soften it. Swiss steak is typically made from relatively tough cuts of meat, such as the round, which have been pounded with a tenderizing hammer, or run through a set of bladed rollers to produce so-called "cube steak". The meat is typically coated with flour and other seasonings and served with a thick gravy.

These Swiss steak recipes call for them to be baked in the oven, but you can
also prepare them in the above mentioned ways.

For the first recipe you will need the following ingredients:

* a covered baking dish,

* 2 pounds of steak,

* salt, pepper,

* garlic powder,

* 1 onion sliced,

* 4 ounce can of drained mushrooms, and

* 1 15 ounce can of tomato sauce.

The first step is to cut your steak into serving sizes, season the steaks
with the salt, pepper, and garlic powder.

Place the steak into a baking dish top with the onion slice.

Now, pour the mushrooms and tomato sauce on top. Kind of level the
ingredients and bake covered for 1 ½ hours at 350 degrees. This recipe can also
be prepared on top of the stove just as easy. Just remember to check on it and
be sure that the liquid is not evaporating.

You can always add just a bit more tomato sauce or even a small amount of water
if needed.

Xmas Nuts

2005-12-24T14:27:00.000-08:00

Some people can't stand cardamom. Leave it out if it pleases you. These nuts taste good on salads or alone as a treat.

1/2 c. brown sugar packed
1/2 c. white sugar
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp ground cardamon
1/8 tsp nutmeg
Pinch of salt
2 tbsps Yogurt (the kind with the cream on top)
2 tbsps milk
1/2 c. sliverd almonds
1 c. walnut pieces

Prepare a cookie sheet by greasing it lightly. In a heavy bottomed frying pan combine the sugar, spices and salt. Mix in the milk and yogurt and cook over high heat until the mixture forms a soft ball when dropped into a bowl of cold water. Lower the heat to medium low. While still over the burner, pour the nuts into the caramel mixture and stir until well coated. Pour the candy over the cookie sheet and allow to cool. Break apart and serve.

Fabulous Birthday Prizes

2005-12-23T18:11:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was my Birthday... and I had a very nice one thank you! Dinner at Jakes Famous Crawfish... as I am a big fan of Oysters (the small flavorful ones). But more importantly it's nice to just be with your family and loved ones on your Birthday.

A fancy whipped cream dispenser
Season One of the Muppet Show on DVD
The 25th Anniversary Muppet Show CD
DVD Set of I Claudius The PBS Series
An antique copy of Dante's Major Opus in Italian with English translation
Various Green Tea Soaps and Bath products

One of the best Brithdays ever I must say.

My one Christmas wish

2005-12-18T22:11:00.000-08:00

It pains me and deeply frightens me... the developing state of paranoia and fear we live under. I feel that sooner or later unless people confront what is happening with conviction and belief, we will no longer live in a truly Free society. What frightens me the most is the side which normally takes the moral high ground on things is now pulling whatever dirty stunts they can to make their point or drive it home into the skulls of the opposition. I've spoken to a number of seemingly educated individuals who really do believe that it's necessary to sacrifice our civil liberties in order to be safe. Perhaps I would be inclined to agree with them if I were assured that once there was no longer a "State of Emergency" our rights would be reinstated. However I'm not entirely convinced that the powers that be are likely to relenquish power over our rights once the need has died down. More, I'm note convinced that they will take the morally correct path when it comes to being truthful about the existance of a "State of Emergency." If History has taught us anything it is that parties or individuals who want to achieve power will pull out whatever stops necessary in order to do so. More they will also take advantage of a "State of Emergency" perceived or "real" in order to do so, because it is a strategically good time to take greater powers during such times.

Though on the bright side, no government or person has ever been able to maintain a complete hold over a free society in the Modern World over a long period of time. Any reign based entirely upon the suppression of rights of the people for the purposes of a very few or group of people will be challenged, as long as there is a large and well-informed enough body of people who will rise up or speak out. I can only be hopeful.

If I had a wish right now, it would be for all Americans to be vigilant and protective over as well as thankful for the amount of 'freedom' we currently do possess.

Tis the Season...

2005-12-15T12:05:00.000-08:00

Sort of makes me wish I asked for that beebee gun for Christmas

2005-12-12T12:22:00.004-08:00

You are Emma Woodhouse from Emma. A classic
only child personality, you are constantly
trying to rearrange the world (and society) to
suit your personal world-view. Mostly, you
succeed at that! You are persuasive and
charming, and almost always manage to get your
way-- which is good, because, as we all know,
your way is the right way.

Which Jane Austen Character Are You?

Biscuit Nazi shares her recipe for scalloped potatoes

2005-12-11T21:14:00.000-08:00

Was over at a friend's house for a party last night... some people rifle through people's medicine cabinets (for curiousity's sake only of course). I look through their pantry and refrigerator. And I had an episode that night that might rival the "Wire Hanger" incident depicted in the Joan Crawford bio-pic Mommie Dearest.

"Whoa... what's this?!" I exclaim. "Canned refrigerator biscuits!!! No, no, no, no, no, no, no!"
He explained that the biscuits belonged to his soon to be ex-girlfriend.
"I should hope so!" I noted on both accounts. One, that the biscuits did not belong to him. Two, that he was ridding himself of that ridiculously uneducated (food-wise) harlot. Canned biscuits indeed!!

Biscuits are sacred, I say. It's not too hard to make biscuits. . Why they're just a bit of flour, shortening, salt, soda and perhaps some buttermilk... all lovingly folded together. I personally use the Fannie Farmer cookbook recipe and depending on my mood add a handful of shredded extra sharp cheddar cheese. Maybe it's just me but the canned variety taste tinny or seem loaded with preservatives.

But when it comes to potatoes, I know nothing. I've never really liked potatoes, having been brought up mainly on rice. Though I did find a recipe that I could actually deal with. I actually added a few things still trying to maintain a healthy balance while still achieving the simplicity of home-cooked goodness.

2 lbs russet potatoes peeled and sliced 1/8" thick then parboiled in salted water
3 tbsp unsalted butter
1/4 c. unbleached flour
2-3 dashes of white pepper
1/4 tsp. celery salt
1 c. chicken broth
1 c. milk
2 tbsp poppy seeds
1/2 c. chopped scallions
1 1/2 c. extra sharp cheddar shredded
Chopped parsley

Drain the potatoes and rinse with very cold water. Toss in a collander to dry. Butter a glass baking dish. Melt the butter on moderate heat and add the flour, pepper and salt and continue stirring to cook up a roux. Stir continuously over moderate heat for 3 minutes and start adding the broth in a stream as you stir. After all of the broth is incorporated add the milk in the same fashion, taking care to whist continually to make sure that the sauce doesn't form lumps.

Keep sauce on burner over low heat.

Lay the potato slices on the bottom of the dish. Drizzle with sauce and add a layer of the cheese and some of the scallions and sprinkle some of the poppy seeds. Continue to layer the ingredients in this fashion until they are used up. Bake in a 350F oven for 30 minutes or until potatoes are tender. Turn the heat up to broil and broil for 3-5 minutes or just enough to get top of the casserole lighly browned.

Sprinkle tops with freshly chopped curly leafed parsley. Serve immediately with a dish of quality lowfat yogurt (Pavel's Russian Yogurt is excellent)substituted for sour cream.

Fuck Decadence and Drugs - Fuck Meritocracy as it stands today

2005-11-26T09:54:00.000-08:00

We finally borrowed the Party Monster last night.... uhhhhhg. I vaguely remember those kind of people... rich bohemians and their wannabe friends... and it just reaffirmed what I'd always thought of the rich and indolent... they really have no talent for anything but being extremely excessive and annoying.

On other notes I have been very hopeful lately... as well as being very productive. As of the last two months I was lucky enough to get chosen to work on a project here at work that was rather high-profile.

Look I says... to the PM (Project Manager) and our Training Manager. I'm going to work really hard on this project for you and I'm going to spend a lot of time assessing what sort of strategy we should take with two goals in mind (Make the customer happy and deliver a quality product). I may not deliver your gantty gant gant paper work on time... but I promise you I will deliver a quality product, based on the LEARNERS real needs and objectives that truly match your business goals.

Because I told myself... I'm no longer going to be a slave to the politics in this fucking group. I'm going to run the politics. I suppose it's because I felt like I was becoming too much of a victim.

Another thing... I realized that if I'm going to have a real impact... I'm not going to be able to do it on my own. That Prima Dona stuff... that's for hacks and the mentally and spiritually impaired and people with a fucking Dorian Grey personality defect. I realize that all of this attitude (High and mighty - hoity toity) stems from the backwards process of rewarding people here through ranting and raving (ranking and rating) in which you are either rewarded for mainly individual efforts for:
1.) Coming up with tools or business process (necessary or unnecessary)
2.) Being a tool (backstabbing each other by taking credit for making tools or processes)
3.) Being extremely clever with numbers (we call them indicators here) that make you look like you're extremely productive.

No, I've given that all up. Because after working with this team I realized that really good things can come out of working with others by doing the following:

Make sure people's strengths are used
Protecting each other on the team
Giving people credit where credit is due
Sharing leadership
Guiding
Having an atmosphere where you feel open enough to take risks
Fostering other's creative input
Listening to what others have to say

So the end result: A product where we were able to deliver a training package for a tool which was really, really unpalatable and cumbersome. We've received recognition upon recognition , accolades, from the customer, management and our students.

We're doing just fine. More than FINE, in fact.

And here's where I grin with my cigar planted between my teeth... "See, sweetheart, you had nothing to worry about all along!"

Conclusions

2005-10-28T12:24:00.000-07:00

Within the past year of my life I've come to the following conclusions/assumptions about the world we live in (here at this company):

1.) It's better not to question anything and just do it - Most companies in this era would rather hire people who do not question values or challenge them.
2.) The top are not accountable for their mistakes - Many companies protect their upper management with reorganizations and layoffs. Sounds like the accountability item may apply to certain political leaders as well.

Here 's the problem with each conclusion:

1.) If you have too many people working in an organization who simply follow the leader. The company will consistently suffer from the poor decisions made by that leader.
2.) The only people who TRULY benefit from the system are the people at the top. Why should a leader have any incentives to make truly good and sound decisions if they are covered either way (success or failure).

Is this the world we live in? I have a few friends who call themselves realists who insist that this is the world we have always lived in and that most of us really don't have any Free Will. On a side note, I've been toying with the idea that everyone no matter who they are has a space or potential space (figurative or metaphysical) in which they exist... this space can be called for any intensive purposes freedom.

Freedom, spun sugar and objets d'artes

2005-10-23T11:04:00.000-07:00

Someone help me with my French grammar and plurals... One of my all time favorite films, though most people think it's a snoozer... is Vatel.

Maybe it's because the whole story centers around the idea of bringing beauty into the world despite the foibles and ugliness of the people who drive it. That and I'm drawn to any movie, cooking show or documentary that features making works of fine art from spun sugar

If you don't know the story of the fated master of ceremonies who was basically the 17th century version of a PR whiz, movie producer and master caterer all rolled into one... watch the movie.

Or you can read about him here:
http://www.kitchenproject.com/history/aboutVatel.htm

Or read the historical text written by Madame de Sevigne:
http://history.hanover.edu/texts/louisxiv.html

I was able to find a food history web page that features some of the recipes from the historical feast served to Louis XIV.

http://www.kitchenproject.com/history/vatel/Vatel_Recipes.htm

NOTE: dont read below this line if you want to watch the film...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

There's a lot of controversy around the actual reason why Vatel killed himself. The film featuring Gerard Depardieu in the starring role, portays Vatel as a man driven to desparation because he is forced to choose between his freedom and being pawned as a slave to pay a gambling debt. Personally, I think the poor guy was just exhausted to the point of despair after working for nearly 2 weeks without sleep... I should learn something from this shouldn't I? Though I hardly think that I could be responsible for a master banquet given to the ultimate 17th century monarch... though I can dream can't I? And no I don't want to be on some freakin cooking show with a bitch-ass chef screaming at me.

Scones for all

2005-10-23T10:07:00.000-07:00

I've been working nearly round the clock to get this project completed... at least my half of it. The sub team I'm working with was tasked with developing training for this major application that will hit the company finance orgs globally... Here's the thing... the tool is a MAJOR piece of shit... a fucking Access Database held together with poorly written code and band aids.

But damn it, why do I do this? I just cannot put my name next to a piece of crap so I work day and night to make sure that the training looks good, and all the pieces needed for a good implementation are all set in a row. I can make a pretty elearning and nicely written student handbooks, but if I don't have my communication pieces, my website, my course access, and course credit mechanism, my online survey, my rooms, and my instructors all chipper, than what good will my training be? Then I still need to go back and make sure that all the verbs in any text is in active voice.

All in all I'm still putting Martha Stewart wrapping paper and custom cut out tags around a box of shit.

I've decided not to go to the project update meetings anymore because they have resorted to yelling at each other and either accusing on another of not meeting their deliverables or demanding that the project be held back (which it actually should, but the bobbing heads at the top of the project are still going to ram the thing through before the end of the year.)

I needed a break around 9 PM last night. Here's how lame I've become: I don't head for a bar... I head for the all night gourmet grocery store... I drug J along with me. We found a jar of clotted cream and of course bought it even though it was six dollars.

So naturally:

Scones
2 1/2 c. flour + extra
1/4 c. sugar
3 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
6 tbsp. European grade unsalted butter (has less moisture than Yank butter)
1/2 c. sour milk (milk +1/4 tsp cider vinegar)
2 tsp. vanilla

Mix all dry ingredients in the food processor. Gradually add the butter cut into chunks into the food processor and mill until you have a course meal. Mix the vanilla with the sour milk and pour into the four mixture... pulsing all the while until you have a soft dough. Note, if you don't have a food processor, you can mix all your ingredients by hand with a pastry cutting tool.

Turn the dough out into a well floured surface and roll or pat down to 1 inch thickness. Cut into squares with a square biscuit cutter. Then cut the squares into triangles.

Place on cookie sheets at least 1 1/2 inches apart and bake at 400 degrees for 15 minutes. or until lightly browned on the tops. Serve with jams and clotted cream.

We were able to enjoy this morning with what remains of the strawberry preserves we made earlier this year.

Update

2005-10-21T08:33:00.000-07:00

The interview I had with Company A did not pan through... Though I'm not to down hearted by the whole thing. Have you ever interviewed with a company and they just didn't have their shit together? Makes you think: Do I really want to work here?

Here's the thing... I interviewed with the company a few months ago and did not get the first position that was offered. It was offered to Mr. S. However they called me back two months later and asked me if I was interested in coming in again. I e-mailed and replied by phone that I was definitely interested. Then I waited a few days, then a week and then another week, then another week. No response. Finally the vice president of the company e-mails me asking if Mr. S. head of training has contacted me. I replied "No." He noted that he would get Mr. S. to send me an e-mail.

The morning of the scheduled Interview which I did not even know about because I never received an e-mail or phone call from Mr. S.

S must stand for Schlmiel.

I have to switch my development meetings around just so I can get to this interview, and on top of that I have to give them a short window to interview me in because I need to be back home to receive calls for a meeting that I cannot reschedule. I rush down there. I have to wait for 20 minutes because part of the interview team is late from a meeting with their lawyer.

Now Mr. S swaggers in the room. He's slick this one... like the sort of dick who played golf with your grandfather. He's the marketing salesman with the tight gripped hand shake, brill cream head and the dangerously contagious optimism shrouding the unkempt testosterone fits that lurk within his persona. He had way too much hair for someone his age... which is a bad sign (Newt Gingrich, Tom Delay... Phil Donohoe).

Through out the meeting he kept of asking me about my rationale for offering courses. His queries though were questioning the tools I was developing the training for... not the training itself. He kept insinuating that I was making the wrong decisions for what I was doing... all with a smile. I wanted to look at the other interviewers and say point blank, "Do I have to work with this guy?"

And to top this off... at the end... he looked at me and titled his fully coifed head... "You sure you did not get my e-mail?"

That's the end of that. Move on I say.

Anti Gay Phone Companies

2005-10-10T18:45:00.000-07:00

Read and listen... can you believe it?!!! I guess there's a market for bigots and homophobes alike...

Web page write up/background explanation:
http://www.eugenemirman.com/showandtell.html

Call 1: http://www.eugenemirman.com/audio/Anti_Gay_Phone_Company_I.mp3
Call 2: http://www.eugenemirman.com/audio/Anti_Gay_Phone_Company_II.mp3
Call 3: http://www.eugenemirman.com/audio/Anti_Gay_Phone_Call_III.mp3

"They train their employees to accept a Gay and Lesbian lifestyle...."

If Hitler were an unsuccessful artist today...

2005-09-16T06:55:00.000-07:00

He'd probably be a clipart artist. Though I'm wondering it's usually these sort of artists who make more money at least enough to survive comfortably. But yet they've had to pimp themselves out to create aesthetically devoid crap for MicroSoft.

I've decided that I'm going to post the most unappealing or ridiculous clipart I can find... there's something that's almost kitschy about clipart. Here's one... the Joker in his younger years before he turned to a life of crime. Little do we know, but this hardcore Gotham villian was once a promising junior marketing executive. A freak accident incurred by a chemical reaction from a mass whiteboard pen accident, rendered this corporate protoge into the insane meglo-maniac he is today. A corporate boss of one of the top ranking Fortune 500 companies in the world.

Men don't have lips that look like that.

Process Flows for the Faithful

2005-09-13T22:17:00.000-07:00

I had to sit through several agonizing hours of business process review today. There was the usual heated argument over which direction the arrow should flow, maybe during a really passionate moment two people would argue over the wordage in a decision box. I started sketching process flows of my own in order to keep head from slamming against the table because I had been rendered unconscious.

I'm afraid to post pictures here because the damn image loader usually fucks up my navigation menu in my other blogs. Though I'm pretty sure that these have been done before, and I'm no theologian, that's for sure. I did do a flow chart to describe my descent into hell. I'm pretty sure if there is one I'll probably end up in the suburbs of Hell not purgatory.

Note that the Calvinists have no decision boxes.

2005-09-13T22:11:00.000-07:00

2005-09-13T21:45:00.000-07:00

Yeah you're right...

2005-09-12T17:26:00.000-07:00

George Bush Doesn't Like Black People

Words transcribed here:
http://dragonballyee.blogs.com/philly/2005/09/george_bush_doe.html

Project Managment... blah, blah, blah

2005-09-09T19:58:00.000-07:00

I'm one of those people who really gets put off by things from the first impression I get. There I said it. When I first came to this group and sat in the various meetings I really felt as if people were wagging their tongues just to sound good. Program management... blah, blah, blah... Gantt Chart and stakeholder buyoff (sounded like beat off at first)... blah, blah, blah... Critical success indicators.... blah, blah, blah....

Fuck you all.... blah,blah,blah.

Learn to think for yourselves..... blah- blah- blah.

I frightened myself the other day because I sat in a meeting and realized that I was effectively speaking the language.

At the onset in this group... I felt as if I was retarded. People threw acronyms and business lingo as if they were slinging clever aphorisms or retorts, and although there are always people in an organization who simply just want to do good work and make great or good products there will always be those individuals who have to throw as many 35 cent acronymsas they can into their speech... or people who continually schedule meetings to make themselves look important (and then cancel them the day before so they don't have to do the work of attending the meetings or more or less owning the expected outcomes. I have to remember that there are still people who value quality and a job well done over quantity.

A friend of mine who works in an organization here discovered a group that basicially spent half their time trying to justify their existance with charts and spreadsheets... statistics and beefed and pimped up projects surrounding relatively simple and automatable processes. I have a few colleagues who feel that it's justifiable to pass on mediocre work because the system and organization does not afford them the time to do a better job. I told myself today.... I'm just going to ignore these people and work around them until I find a better job. Why should I let my own experience and accomplishments suffer because the standards I work amongst are lower than my own.

On another note... I found the time to post on my knitting blog.
http://lolocoknitter.blogspot.com/

Science, evolution and vermin control

2005-09-05T08:43:00.000-07:00

Jesus Christ! I've done everything to our dogs... Used pet meds, dipped them bathed them, combed them every day for fleas, but the goddamn little buggers keep on coming back. We've even kept our grass cut extremely short. The best method I've found so far is to just comb them in the bathroom after they've been playing outside. Keep a wet piece of toilet paper in one hand to immediately remove the fleas from the comb. This way you can drown and squish the fleas at once. Toss the paper in the toilet after you've caught several and repeat the process with another fresh piece of damp toilet paper. Flush all flea carcasses down the toilet.

Perhaps the fleas that are out there have developed a resistance to the anti-flea pet medication we put on our pets, and as a fleas's cycle is about five weeks... and if only the fittest fleas resistant to the pet medication survive it's only a matter of months or a year before the entire population of fleas in an area has become resistant to vet purchased flea medication. Oh all you proponents of Intelligent Design... explain how this happens.

2005-09-03T09:16:00.000-07:00

Hi, Torren, thanks for checking in. I've been swamped with some projects they have me on at work. But I still search on. My job search hit a lull when I realized that I'd hit the denoument in the yearly hiring cycle. However, sometimes it turns out that companies or departments right about now realize that a.) they have extra money to hire b.) they bit off more than they can chew in terms of projects, and as a result their hiring right now. Right now I have a couple of leads working with smaller companies located downtown. I'd love a job down there because it would mean that I don't have to drive. I could take the MAX into work or even cycle to work. If I get called back on a one or two of these, I just need to decide which one is the 'safer' (more stable choice) as well as which is the 'better fit' for me. Suppose it's like (and I hate to use this old cliche) picking the better horse.

About not writing here...

The writing was happening, just not here.

I think I've been going through a fairly dark patch lately. I decided that I wasn't pushing anything out that wasn't being influenced by my morbid moods, so I stopped. I also felt as if the demands and restrictions of my job and the environment that I was working with were driving me to become a little caustic. I was and still am having a hard time dealing with the sort of denial that is rife in corporate living. I laugh because I've always thought that denial leads people to drink... and that denial requires a sort of fortitude to hold it up like awkward buttresses. Some people here at my work must have enough to hold up the fucking Notre Dame Cathedral. In any case the bitterness was giving fruit to something that I needed to express, but I felt better working it all out in my notebooks.

It was strange really, writing on paper again. Imagine that.

I know this will also sound silly, but I suddenly became aware of my exhibitionism after almost a year and a half of being in the blog world. To touch on a biblical metaphor, maybe biting the bitter apple made me all too aware of my 'nakedness.'

There is another reason too why I have not posted any recipes or other items other than the babbling on my sewing blog... I think that although the concepts in the article below apply to business blogs, they also apply to blogger and the personal blog world.

http://www.informationweek.com/story/showArticle.jhtml?articleID=59100462

James,

Thank you for the suggestion of the author you mentioned. I will definitely look into finding this book. I have to remember and I do that the core values espoused by Christianity are ideals or standards which are worth aspiring to. I was watching that Comedian Emo Phillips the other day and he pretty much summed up how I came to see Catholicism by the time I was eleven years old:

When I was a boy I prayed and prayed to get a bicycle. Then I realized that that wasn't how the Lord worked, so I stole one and asked for his forgiveness later.

I am not a practicing Christian or Catholic anymore, but often times I take issue more with how the values in the form of doctrine are enforced or followed by Christian organizations and some of their followers (namely the Fundamentalists). Fundamentalism in any religion is the deathknoll of that religion because at this point you must assume the absolute and unquestioning belief of and compliance to all doctrine (of all those who follow). Moreover, it creates the assumption that the world of human beings is divided into two groups... those who believe and those who do not. Then by nature of politics and the survival of memes... the religious organization's goal is to encompass or convert as many people as possible. Human nature is far too complex and resilient to expect all people to believe unquestioningly... or at least that's how I see it. Besides you need that element that questions otherwise there is no true progress of ideas (an consequently science) and the world becomes static... but then that's what Conservatism is all about... keeping things the way they were.

I've come to believe lately that believing 'fundamentally' restricts one's own ability to see the truth (though the concept of truth itself is highly objective). People I've worked with often view me an Asian Wednesday Addams... My humor either irritates or befuddles their sensibilities. They must think of me as one of those esoteric existentialists whose dark perception prevents me from seeing the world as they see it from their optimistic' camera obscura. I am the person who asks too many questions, looks at things far too critically. I want to pull things apart then put them back together, I want to look at more than just two scenarios of use when it comes to conceptualizing and planning design mainly because I'm eternally fascinated with how humans interact with tools. Just get the product out and rolling they tell me we need to follow our work objectives and org. goals. I want to make something that was worth my time, I answer back. And the overall atmosphere of denial allows them to believe that they can create products with little or poorly trained resources, or that they can expect their folks to work 70 to 80 hours weeks.

2005-07-28T13:40:00.000-07:00

http://whysew.blogspot.com/

Interesting points

2005-07-28T13:30:00.000-07:00

http://www.internetisshit.org/index.html

Agree with this in many senses... disagree with it on others.

Giving feedback to a problem manager

2005-07-26T08:48:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had to submit review information about a 'problem' manager? Tongue tied? Or are you afraid to express your true sentiments and risk getting written up or fired for an HR violation.

You might want to do a little role playing and walk in your manager's shoes and analyze what he or she is doing wrong. One way I've quantified my problems with my manager is to fill out an evaluative survey online as if I was that person. Of course, you should try to be as fair as possible in assessing how your manager would actually react and respond to the questions... if they were honest about their behavior.

http://www.coachingandmentoring.com/Quiz/coaching.html

Maybe this isn't the right approach, but it actually opened my eyes a bit when it came to understanding why my manager did the things she did.

Soapbox

2005-07-08T09:05:00.000-07:00

Corporate Monoculture beats the living spirit out of the old American Rebel

America was founded by rebels. Though we're talking very rich, land-owning and educated rebels... and rebel lawyers at that. As a people we were one of the first to give the Old Order governed by Monarchy and Divine Right the proverbial Bird. There's always been a touch of irreverence that streams through our blood and culture. It's what propelled the South to buck against the pressure to change from the North (though their drive to cling to their old order was based on the inhumane and unegalitarian practice of owning people). Rebel Culture drove our propensity for innovation in industry and technology. American ingeniuity and invention comes from our insatiable desire to make things work better and challenge older or more traditional ways of doing things. In the mid 19th Century to the mid 20th America spawned thousands of inventions and patents which powered the Engine of Progress and improved the standard of living for people all over the world (though some of these things arguably worked to actually enslave more of our time and restricted our leisure hours) including: The telephone, the lightbulb, the sewing machine, the telegraph, the polio vaccine, the computer, the automobile.

Our Rebel Attitude also fueled the ignition of a universe of music and popular culture which became beloved around the world... take for example, Rock and Roll and all it's subsequent and successive genres. Rebel Culture was what made us down right cool... black leather jackets, motor cycles, and slicked back hair... kids in bowling jackets who snap their fingers while taunting authority by yelling, "Hey, Daddio!" Later our rebllion took the form of peaceful protests. The rebellion embedded in the Civil Rights movement brought about necessary changes in our attitudes and how we viewed all Americans, all humans as people with equal rights and freedoms.

We are born rebels, damnit! It's deep in our blood. Yet there are forces in our culture and environment that are suffocating this truly American aspect of our personality. One is the giant of corporate monoculture. Within the incubators and hives of the Corporate world a new breed of drone is being spawned. In fact, the Corporate world breeds individuals who does not naturally challenge the order and structure of doing things.

Moreover, Corporations increasingly base success of their endeavors on achieving their goals at the LOWEST cost. This Wal-Martization of goal achievement results often in settling for the cheapest resources or unqualified personnelle. Furthermore, as the corporate leviathan grows its army of patent attorneys and it's legal department claims dibs on inventions that happen to pop up from honest innovators who are just trying to make a break for success. What's wrong with this picture?! Why should any would-be inventor even try to invent something if it will be swept up by an opportunistic vulture?

My list of complaints only grows with the passing of time.

So I say, in my most irreverent and rebellious American voice....

FUCK CORPORATIONS!

Notes:

http://www.minimumsecurity.net/aboutme/writing/twilight.htm

Berman savages various contemporary cultural phenomena such as the substitution of civility with corporate politeness ("thank you for choosing AT&T"), the widespread lack of motivation of youth, infantilism as ideology (flaunting the inability to grow up), entertainment substituting for education and the insipid "mental theme park" of the New Age industry. Citing the specific example of Deepak Chopra's book Escaping the Prison of the Intellect, Berman dryly notes, "The problem is that Chopra seems to be addressing an audience that for the most part hasn't managed to find its way into the 'prison of the intellect' in the first place."
All in all, Berman argues, the United States is free-falling to the garbage heap. Arising in its place is a brutal, global corporate hegemony pushing the culture of McWorld, empty of everything but schlock, social inequality and consumerism.

-------------------------------

Response to Krawdad's comments:

I am hopeful too. Because I think that people still have the power to make choices to buck the system... and for us the under-represented it's 'la perruque' all the way, Baby. The first step to defeat is to acquiesce and relent to the notion that the megasaur businesses and organizations cannot be beaten. You may not be able to bring them down, but you can take a chunk out of them. If you look up the words "WalMart" and "Protest" on Google... at any time you will see a number of communities rising up to prevent the errection of a WalMart in their town or neighborhood... and, yes, I used the 'E' word with pun intended.

We can rebel...energy conscious purchases, whole/organic foods, local business guilds, and movements to buy from locally owned an operated businesses... we don't have to buy everyday, but making a purchase or two to a locally owned store, restaurant or business helps keep these places alive. We can purchase wisely and less often.

Also, style and fashion are still highly driven by subcultural inklings and tastes that marketers, try as they may to capture cannot completely harness. By the time they put it into play... style has evolved yet again. In a sense this almost always provides companies with new and innovative products. I do believe that corporations do have a good place in the sense that they proliferate some items, artforms to a larger audience. However, at the same time since they are so market driven... they often dumbdown these forms so they are palatable to the larger public. Look what they did to Hip Hop, but of course that's just my opinion.

However, at the same time... the corporate machine will always try to encompass and dominate as much of the topography or the market as possible. Sometimes you see them swell and pop like a big pus-filled boil because they simply can't hold rot in, more-likely because they have expanded without any truly well defined, goals vision and a strategy to insure the stability of the business. Corporate leadership justifies that downsizing is necessary to make a company leaner/meaner (in reality this tactic has often been used to gain approval from analysts and bring quick returns to shareholders). Yet at the same time they don't provide a good transition plan to ease the burden of the employees who must shoulder the burden of the work of their laid off peers. I've seen many a co-worker burn-out after a downsizing. Retention usually sucks six months to a year after the downturn. Most people in management and HR would argue (though not so openly) that this is a good way to wring out those who are not loyal to the company... or those who simply cannot cut the mustard.

There's just simply something sick about corporate dominance left unchecked.

Interesting though... if you want to know where companies give their money to politically/ or whom they support either side go here:
http://www.buyblue.org/alphalist.php

Figures where Outback Steakhouse and Applebees sunk their bucks no wonder their foetid food gives me gas.

When Did Raspberries Become Blue?

2005-07-02T07:30:00.000-07:00

When I was a child I longed for food to be blue. This was the late seventies and marketing at the major food corporations was still not convinced that people would warm up to the idea of eating food in the color in the color that appeared less in nature than any other color in the spectrum. Little did I know that they would finally grant me my wish by the time I was in my 20s. No, during my childhood, lemons and citrus fruits were yellow and orange, berries came in shades of purple or red. Greens were for all purposes green.

I remember reading an essay in my Childcraft Worldbook Encyclopedia about the science of coloring food. As I recall the photo display of edibles in the article included a half an orange, or was it a grapefruit, a bowl of cereal, bacon strips, and a plate of toast with an unmelted pat of butter. However, everything in the photo was white and colorless. The article noted that people had been given food in tastes tests in various colors and were asked to note whether or not they could taste a difference. The food itself was not altered in anyway; therefore, theoretically it would not change in taste. However the scientists discovered that foods' color definitely influenced the perception of taste. This essay noted that the least popular coloring for food among those tested at the time (probably mid 70s- now I've just given out my approximate age) was of course blue. Later I remember reading a hypotheses that reasoned that blue was not a commonly occuring color in nature among edibles... with the exception of blueberries.

My, times have changed.

You walk into any supermarket aisle with products aimed directly at kids and you'll find blue everywhere, and it just doesn't stop with blue marshmalllows in the Lucky Charms. Blue juice, blue fruit leather, blue candy, blue sour strips. I suppose if you put all of these items in front of anyone who would be my grandparents' age (if they were alive), they would recoil in horror and ask why we were feeding them plastic, window cleaner, and laundry detergent.

What does this say about how we view food now... or the sensibilities of our children? It makes complete sense to me why this generation seems to enjoy many things artificial. I watched a pair of children last night at a party who busied themselves with their gameboys on the couch while the adults around them chattered, ate and filled themselves with cocktails. Their eyes were glued to a video screen half the size of a scratch pad, and their eyes followed Sponge Bob Squarepants as he danced around a sea of blue dodging undersea robots or riding through a maze of coral on a seahorse. Much of what these children are atuned to is artificial. The colors, the sights, even the dimensional attributes. They view things that are three dimensional on a two dimensional screen. Their colors aren't defined only by what is seen in the natural or real world. So why then can't raspberries be blue?

The Science of Pest Control

2005-06-28T19:28:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine asked me how to get rid of aphids in their garden without using chemical pesticides. I'm not the best gardener in the world. I'm not the sort who clucks and pecks over her compost bin like a patient mother hen. Nor do I weed religiously (mainly due to my time and schedule). But I did find some information from one of my favorite gardening sites on pests and a safe version of an insecticide. To be frank we're not growing much in our garden this year because I didn't have a lot of time due to my job during the planting time.

Spider Mites
http://www.yougrowgirl.com/grow/bugs_mites.php

Safe Insecticides
http://www.yougrowgirl.com/garden/pesticiderecipes.php

Summer Borscht and Russian Dumplings

2005-06-28T07:17:00.000-07:00

My garden has given forth an abundance of beets. Naturally, I resorted to making borscht. "I guess my taste buds have matured," a friend of ours noted at dinner saying that after years he finally came to the decision after years of adulthood, that he actually liked the stuff. Cold borscht has always been a summer-time favorite of mine. People who love beets usually do so for the same reason that people detest them, the earthiness. I had a friend who once claimed that he'd rather eat a bowl full of dirt than eat a teaspoon of beets. Too each their own.

I found a recipe from epicurious.com which was fairly simple and with some adjustments actually tasted quite good. In accompaniment we made vareniki (also known as pirogies) which are more of a version of Eastern European ravioli. It's not as much work to make these dumplings if you roll the dough with a hand crank pastamaker. P.S. these dumplings also taste wonderful deep fried right after boiling.

Borscht from epicurious
(I used 1 lb of stew meat, lightly browned before boiling and 12 c. of organic beef broth instead of 10 c. I also suggest that you add 1/4 c. cooking sherry, 1/2 c chopped parsley and 2 tsp balsalmic vinegar. Also serve with light sour cream instead of yogurt and garnish with chopped parsley as well as fresh dill). I found that this recipe tastes just as wonderful warm. Serve with warm potato rolls.

Vareniki with Mushrooms

Dough
2 c. flour sifted
2 eggs
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 c. water plus more if needed
Additional flour

Filling
2 tbsp grapeseed or olive oil
1 lb cremini mushrooms chopped fine
1 large sweet onion, chopped fine
1 1/2 tbsp chopped fresh sage
1 1/2 tbsp chopped fresh thyme
1/4 c. dry sherry
1/4 c. onion broth (chicken works as well)
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

Sift the flour and the salt into a large bowl. make a well at the center and crack the eggs into this well. Pour water into well. Combine egg and water carefully. Then gradually fold and stir in flour until a sticky dough forms. You may need to add a few drops more water. Knead until you have a ball of dough. Cover and refrigerate for at least an hour.

Cook the filling. Over medium high heat saute the onions in the oil until translucent. Add herbs and mushrooms and saute for a few minutes. Add the liquid ingredients, salt and pepper and saute until liquid is reduced and mushrooms are cooked through. Add additional salt and pepper to taste. Set mixture aside and allow to cool.

Divide the dough into 1/4 portions. Remember you will also knead the scraps from the cuttings and roll through the pasta maker again. If you dont' have a pastamaker as noted, then you've got a lot of rolling to do. The idea is to get the dough to a noodle-like thinness. You don't want it to be paper thin or it will tear. With my pasta machine I crank a rolled piece of dough at least 7 times through, increasing the setting number and therby increasing the thinness with each turn.
From a thin piece of dough cut out as many 4 inch circles as you can. Place about a tablespoon or slightly more of the mushroom filling on one half of the circle. Brush the edges lightly with eggwhite. Fold the circle over and press with a fork. Our biscuit cutter actually doubles as a press with a serated edge, so we usually seal the dumplings with this device. Repeat this process until you have roughly 35-40 large dumplings. Bring salted water (with 1 tbsp cooking oil) to boil in a large pot. Cook the dumplings, a dozen at a time, in boiling water for about 12 minutes. Drain and serve with chopped carmelized onions cooked in butter (see below) and chopped fresh parsley.

Carmelized onions
1 lb finely chopped walla walla onions
1/4 c. butter
Cook onions in butter over medium to medium high heat until onions are browned and carmelized (about 30 minutes).

Jesus would be embarrassed

2005-06-23T20:29:00.000-07:00

Is it me or is this WRONG to preach in the workplace? We get this all the time here... and they are starting to really get on my nerves. Pizza lunches and prayer meetings advertised on the company intranet. Articles in the company newsletter. Why can't they just keep this at home? Why must they 'share' it with others? Though I have this theory about born missionaries... they are usually so insecure in their own faith and belief that they must force it upon others... no they alone cannot be the saved one they must force their religion upon others.

Search results:

Jesus @ Work-
While Jesus himself never had to balance a budget or file a weekend report, those who follow him consider him the acme of managerial acumen. "Jesus was like, in my mind, the ultimate manager and leader and business visionary," gushes Nancy Matheson-Burns, president and CEO of specialty food distributor Dole & Bailey. "I'm a shepherd of a flock. I'm responsible for them and how their jobs affect their family and affect their lives."
http://www.bostonmagazine.com/ArticleDisplay.php?id=593

Take God to Work Day-
http://slate.msn.com/id/2120789/

Faith at work-
http://www.tdn.com/articles/2005/05/28/this_day/news01.txt

Culture War or Crusade? -
http://www.rossde.com/editorials/edtl_crusade.html

Other links of note:
All-American indignation-
http://www.cavalierdaily.com/CVArticle.asp?ID=23529&pid=1302
Society of Mutual Autopsy or SOMA.

Take back what?

2005-06-23T20:05:00.000-07:00

http://www.simpleliving.net/timeday/book-appendix-a.asp

This seems a little pathetic... people making a big to do about having a day to themselves or some time to themselves outside of their work or jobs. Shouldn't that time be yours to begin with? Though I admire this group in a way, I don't think that they're doing enough to address the overall impact of this lack of time in American's lives. I'm not a huge fan of unions and I'd probably get fired for even mentioning organized labor for salaried individuals (oxymoron that that may be), but the more they push the more it may go this way. You talk to a lot of people who work in a corporate environment and they continue to feel powerless and there's one big ugly reason why: the legal department. My legalese may be a bit off and I promise to research more into how this works, but although it's illegal to require people to work over a certain amount of time (though I have worked for managers in this company who have stated to their groups that a 12 hour work day is required), any honed and schooled legal employee will tell you that the company has secured your services in accomplishing several tasks or deliverables. You are responsible for these deliverables regardless of the amount of time by day or by week that you are required to get the job done!

Yet this doesn't explain why it's always seemed to me that the people who work in Legal are usually the most unhappy people in a corporation.

At our work we are always encouraged to take ownership of our tasks and time. That's just great... what they don't tell you is that you will be continually plagued by a push to get more things to do on your plate.

What DO you want?

2005-06-20T23:13:00.000-07:00

Countless numbers of us deal with the fact that we're working in jobs that we don't really care for. Some of us come to work and switch ourselves 'off' for the good part of the day. We become embroiled in the rituals of our work and we weave in and out of our own space and consciousness in calendared meetings, pivot tables, tabular formulas that there is little time for us to think for ourselves. We tell ourselves that we'll think about changing things as soon as we get some free time, but more often than not that free time is eaten up by familial obligations and personal issues that should have been attended to while we were working overtime.

Honestly, I dont' think there's anything unique about what I'm going through. I'm just yet another overworked American who still believes that she can get what she wants if she thinks long and hard, and works for it. This is an age old formula marketed by countless indivuals who try to sell their testimony to how they escaped the lives of indentured servitude. I spent a great deal of my life following. I only ended up working at Company X by chance. I was burned out of my previous profession and looking for a place to be reborn. Initially, as I wrote earlier, I really loved working here becuase despite the hard work I was working for leadership that I respected, people who knew how to guide and set expectations rather than micro manage or manage via numbers. More, I was encouraged and rewarded for taking risks.

Taking Stock in What You Love

So I've been thinking... in order for me to be able to find a place of work or a profession that I truly enjoy I need to do consider all the things I enjoy doing or some of the subject areas I find myself interested in.

-Cooking, experimenting with foods... obviously
-Knitting/Sewing/ Textile Crafts
-Writing
-Learning
-Talking
-Teaching
-Design
-Philosophy
-Ethics
-Politics
-Creativity

I'm sure there's more, but I really haven't had enough coffee right now to think about it.

What's Right for You?

I took a quick career self assessment quiz. The results noted that I'm more of an ENTP (see the description below). I've been thinking more and more that although I tend to be an introvert, I have evolved over the past few years. I've become an extrovert because of circumstance, that and I tend to swim against the flow like a salmon beating itself against rocky rapids. This environment where I work is made up mainly of introverted folks... and more people here don't question things (at least this is my perception) they tend to go with the flow more often than not.

While the description seems fairly accurate, I'm not incredibly smitten with all of the career possibilities. I've tagged the ones that actually intrigue me. I'm not going to base my career choice decisions on one little quiz from Monster, but I see this as a step to finding out what I really want to do with my life. Didn't Helen Gurley Brown get her start as a copywriter?

ENTP (Extravert, Intuitive, Thinker, Perceiver)
People of this type tend to be friendly, charming and outgoing; quick-witted, energetic and irreverent; ingenious, imaginative and creative; curious, flexible and unpredictable; logical and analytical.

The most important thing to ENTPs is being creative, seeing possibilities and always having new challenges.

Great careers for ENTPs

Entrepreneur-->
Investment banker Venture capitalist-->
Outplacement consultant-->
Management / marketing consultant
Copywriter
Radio / TV talk show host
Political manager -->
Real estate developer
Actor-->
Strategic planner
University/college president-->
Motivational speaker-->
Internet marketer
Advertising creative director

More Career Quizzes & Resources:

Quitting Time Quiz:

http://tools.monster.com/quizzes/quittingtime/

Is Business Ethics an Oxymoron?

2005-06-20T20:32:00.000-07:00

Baaaaaaaa... baaaaaa.... this is the sound that sheep make when they run off a cliff. It's also the sound that high level managers make when they follow trends passed down from on high or laterally amongst their peers. Everyone's seen this in their company and it can take place in the adoption of a new fangled data reporting system or the drive to move all business into eBusiness.

Then there's the outsourcing trend... of course that's old news, but that doesn't mean it still isn't pertinent. I heard stories from individuals who worked overseas. They said that there have been tons of problems with employees pilfering equipment and computers, difficulties getting managers to use company guidelines, and that in India that there is a really big misconception about most people in India being fluent in English. I have always felt that outsourcing is inevitable; however, the rush to get plants and workers overseas overnight just didn't offer enough time to build teams with adequate skills in the new sites and allow the employees in the US the ability to transition to new areas of work, but as we have all seen it's not really about making things correctly it's about getting them done faster and cheaper... not the right way or done to insure lasting benefits. It's always been my opinion that outsourcing will cost this company and the countless others much more money than they estimated. More, there are cultural communication issues that people don't deal with.

On another yet somewhat related note. I've been reading more on Business Ethics. Maybe it's because you don't get rewarded in this environment for raising flags at least not when you don't work in Legal. Maybe it's just because I'm tired of the "Yes-Yes" culture we're living in at this company. The downright culture of denial that makes it possible for upper management to capriciously toss jobs overseas as well as sanction projects which 'unofficially' require their employees to work ridiculously extended hours. I wanted to be able to read about companies that actually practice open door policy. I wanted to witness evidence that people might actually be heard when they raised concerns or offered proposals for change. At one time, I do believe that that happened within this company, but outsourcing and the change in leadership shut the true 'open door' practice in our faces.

In the Bush Era of Business, employee empowerment has become a memory fading from the 90s dot com boom. But as one of the discussion notes from the Business Ethics site referenced below notes that American business don't really use long term empowerment strategies because American business focuses more on the short-term rather than the long term. Sad but true. Look at the Outsourcing example.

Is it me? Or are there others out there who are hoping for a change? Or are we all going to continue to wallow in denial?

5 Reasons Why Offshoring Fails:
http://www.itworld.com/Man/2701/050622gartnerbust/

Is Outsourcing to India as Cheap as the Executives Figured?
http://www.ohio.com/mld/beaconjournal/business/11964063.htm

Council for Ethics in Economics:
http://www.businessethics.org/

Outsourced Call Center Employees Steal Client Bank Information:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-1667310,00.html

Ethikos:
http://www.singerpubs.com/ethikos/

Social Investor, Consumer and Business Directory:
http://www.goodmoney.com/directry.htm

Update to Exodus Plan 2005

2005-06-19T08:00:00.000-07:00

I'm outlining my plan to leave or find new work. I've decided that just sending resumes and cover letters isn't going to cut it.

Some things I've decided to do

Consider what else I want to do
Evaluate other possible areas of work which I could be qualified in outside of my current job role (i.e. Human Factors Engineer) - limit to three target areas
Research training necessary for other positions
Consider taking a sizable cut in pay (at first)
Research specific companies and industries (secure at least 1 informational interview with an individual in a different company a week or as time and schedule allows)
Draft cover letters with persuasive arguments in each target area
Coordinate resume information for each target area
Start collecting lists of names/contacts in each job industry
Set a goal for application submission and track my progress
Make sure to keep feedback from interviews that are not successful and review my application, resumes, cover letter content to make sure that this feedback is applied where appropriate

In the meantime I've decided that I will record my observations and comments during this process of finding a new job and new path. I want to spend some time exploring the impact of the notion that our worth is based wholly and primarily on monetary value whether the measurement for this value is based on the lowest competitive salary our position or a quantifiable number of tasks or products per hour. My intuition tells me that there is a threshold for quantifiability or quantification driven by the profit driven culture. My gut feeling tells me that there is a great deal of denial enforced when it comes to setting realistic goals and expectations for employee success criteria. Also, there are models of healthy work environments and dysfunctional ones. I want to figure out and define what exactly a healthy environment looks like. Will I find this ideal working utopia? I honestly doubt it, but I believe that the first step for achieving any ideal state is to visualize it.

Also, I want to know, I want to hear what other people in my situation are experiencing and how they are dealing with or working to influence change in their workplace or their own lives. Why am I doing this? Because I feel that there's a got to be a better way of doing things. I may not understand all the tools (god, there's that word again) or ways of doing them, but I would like to learn. At the very least I can try my best to avoid having to work at a job I hate for a company or organization which I don't respect.

Resources/Articles:

10 Signs that your should leave your job:

http://change.monster.com/articles/keep/

Getting a grip on what you WANT (from work):

http://www.ncvo-vol.org.uk/asp/search/ncvo/main.aspx?siteID=1&sID=20&subSID=119&documentID=2206

How to find a job while your still doing one:

http://www.careerbuilder.com/JobSeeker/CareerBytes/0505highpayingjob.htm?cbRecursionCnt=1&cbsid=fe2c2d814409496e86614e90edb97363-172607927-xl-2

Tech industry and changing goals for IT organizations:

http://cio.co.nz/cio.nsf/0/57F4AB8521D09B53CC256F34005D7F15?OpenDocument

Carnitas

2005-06-18T16:12:00.000-07:00

Oy... forgot to post this.

Sorry it's not Kosher, but I found a way to cook Carnitas or cooked pork that is so tender and tasty. My first experience with Carnitas was at a Mexican Taqueria in the Pilsen neighborhood in Chicago. I remember ordering at least four or five tacos in succession. I was suprised to find that the making of carnitas was relatively easy. I'd done some research of various methods and finally came up with my own version. If you're not a big fan of cumin, you can leave it out of the spice bag or bouqet garni.

Spice bag (with a drawstring) that includes the following:
12-14 black peppercorns
1 1/2 tbsp Mexican oregano
2 tsp cumin seeds
4 bay leaves

3-4 lbs pork shoulder strips with some fat
1 1/2 tsp sea salt (more to taste if needed)
3 c. chicken broth
3 cans of cheap beer (like PBR)

Add all ingredients in a large thick bottomed pot. If the meat isn't covered with liquid add more beer or water. Bring to a boil and boil constantly for at least 3 hours or until meat is tender. Make sure to add water as needed during the cooking process. Note, the broth tastes delicious and is great for flavoring tamale dough or for cooking beans.

Note you can cook this in a crockpot as well. Just leave the ingredients in the pot all day long, and by supper time you'll have the main course ready for eating.

Strawberries

2005-06-13T10:01:00.000-07:00

We went strawberry picking yesterday and gathered about 16 lbs of berries for preserves, ice cream, baking and eating. Perhaps I overstepped my bounds because even after fixing the preserves there is an incredible surplus of berries which sit on my counter near ready to turn. The preserves tasted absolutely wonderful on top of our homemade frozen custard.

For the most part the berries were small, but as I've discovered with strawberries bigger does nto necessarily mean better. Irregularly shaped sometimes in forms that varied from globular clusters to icicles these berries are not the fairest of the bunch, but each small package had such a wonderfully delicious and fragrant flavor so unlike the pithy and bland monsters that you find in plastic packages at the chain grocers. I found that the strawberries with brigh red and glossy tops were the tastiest. Biting down on one would put you in a strawberry infused heaven.

Strawberry Preserves

4 1/2 quarts of small ripe and firm strawberries, hulled
14 c of sugar
the juice from 4 lemons

Wash and hull strawberries. Combine berries with sugar in a large stainless steel pan; let stand for 3 to 4 hours. Bring strawberries to a boil slowly, stirring occasionally. Add lemon juice. Cook rapidly untilstrawberry mixture is clear and syrup is thick,about 15 minutes.
Pour mixture into a shallow pan and let stand,uncovered, for 12 hours. Ladle strawberry mixture into hot, sterilized jars, leaving 1/4-inch headspace. Process for 20 minutes in a boiling water bath. Makes fifteen 8-ounce jars.

Stage Left - Scripting the exit interview

2005-06-08T14:17:00.000-07:00

Countdown to 50 Reasons why I need to leave this job: 33

HR Representative: As part of normal company procedure, I'd like to ask you why you've decided to leave our family?
Me: You're asking me why I no longer want to work here? How long do we have?
HR Representative: As long as you'd like
Me: Well, okay....

I no longer want to have to justify my existence or praise of other with a list of percentages, how many hours saved, how many meetings attended, pie charts, or ROI (Return on Investment) estimates
I am wary of this culture which seems to be in denial half the time of reality as a result people tend to over-extend themselves mainly out of fear that they will loose their job (remember Rutger Hauer's line in Blade Runner: Do you know what it's like to live in fear? That's what it's like to be a slave. I may be misquoting)
I don't trust a company that does not consider the moral, ethical and scientific implications of some of their health related technology
I am tired of the dominant Christo-facist culture that is growing around me (how people can shamelessly bring their religion into the workplace and openly proselytize and influence others*)
I am tired of being punished or chided (urged to "disagree and commit"**) for questioning why we're doing things the way we're doing them.
I am tired of berated for taking the time to make something work 'right' or look 'right' because the time spent is not justified in a GANTT or ROI worksheet
I am tired of jumping to satisfy the whim of upper management who decides to follow a direction in management/indicators without considering (the long-term impact on the staff or even the success of the business)
While I appreciate the importance of managing one's business with metrics and benchmarking, I don't believe that we need to take up the bulk of our time doing these activities.
I don't feel that the environment here fosters a healthy atmosphere of constructive self-criticism. People follow management leadership blindly.
I'm weary of any cycle of change that sprouts up as part of a managment initiative to 're-energize' their staff and business processes (without evaluation of what happened with the last cycle...need I say post-mortem - Oh shit, now I'm talking like them too.

HR Representative: Well, it certainly looks like you've taken some time to think about this. You've come up with an incredibly descriptive and comprehensive list.
Me: But wait, I've just started...

I would like to work in an environment where we are given the time and resources to think of solutions which adequately fit our problems rather than for times' sake try to pound ill-fitting solutions from previously known methods or formulas
I'm tired of working for dorks
I'm tired of listening to hours after hours of biz-U speak (it's starting to sound like duckspeak from 1984)
I don't get why or how people can justify speaking in sentences made up almost entirely out of acronyms
I want to go home at 5.00 PM. I'm tired of working 60 and sometimes 70 hour weeks
I want to see my family for more than 2 hours before I go to bed at night
I don't want to hear the phrase 'flawless execution' in a sentence that does not have to deal with capital punishment
I want to weed my garden
I don't want to wake up with a numbness shrouding every muscle in my body
I want to get rid of the tick I get in my eye
I don't want to get old and fat before my time
I want to be able to have the time to go to the gym
I want to have the same lifestyle of leisure that my parents did in the 60's and 70's
I don't want to cry or break down into tears when my vacation is over
I want to live and regain control over my life
I'm tired of tools, building tools for the sake of populating a list on a brag sheet during review time. I'm tired of hearing the word re-tooling. I'm tired of working with tools who won't get a clue.
I don't understand why projects would not spends some time investigating, testing, designing 'tools' that take usability into consideration. Is it all about speed and time, getting something out as quickly as possible?
I like living my life relatively migraine free.
Because if I continue to live my life thinking that there isn't anything better out there, I will become a prisoner of my own inability to dream and desire more for myself. I will become nothing more than a rung in a caste ladder.
Because I believe that this company has become top heavy with a bunch of B and C level managers (mediocre managers) who continue to hire B and C level people.
Because I believe that I can no longer work in an organization that has become so large that it cannot truly evaluate it and change itself without resorting to conducting layoffs. Because after all, it's easier to get rid of your experienced folks and hire a bunch of green individuals who will require millions of dollars in training and the experience of many failed or mediocre projects to get to the point where they can actually function.
Do we really have a vision anymore? Or is that just the crap that's printed on the ugly posters in the hallways?
and while we're on the topic of the company vision posters... For chrissakes, hire decent graphic artists to design your logos and print for you.

---------------------------------

If I can come up with more than fifty reasons. I will increase my resume submission rate to 5 job apps a day. I'm already at 1 so far. Hell, I'll just pack my one cardboard box, pick up my purse, and walk out the building.

I mentioned earlier that I've been writing my exit interview, at least mentally. The biggest challenge I'm facing right now is not leaking any hints that I'm thinking of defecting.

Do you have any reasons why you want to leave your job? Do you feel guilty because you even have these thoughts?

*Example of publicizing religious organizations - I came into work and found an article on our intranet about a professionial lecture on Business Ethics. Basically the speaker's main point is that corporate leaders need to base their decisions on absolute moral code. While I agree with the basic tenet's of the guy's thought about honesty and corporate behavior (somehow, after witnessing the example of the janus-faced lives of so many public religious figures in this country I really can't see how openly professing one's faith in Jesus is going to convince the world that corporations can do no wrong.

**Normally, I'd like to say in these conversations "I disagree. You should be committed."

Nothing is free...

2005-05-28T21:30:00.000-07:00

..let alone knowledge. I spent some time trying to find old sewing machine manuals for my mother's old Kenmore sewing machine, and it looks like someone has scooped up that money making activity and insured that people must pay to view these out of print materials. I can't ask my mom to help with this because she's gone... out of the country for the next few weeks.

More, I've noticed that the m-w.com thesaurus doesn't have as rich a selection of words for entries as it once did. It figures now, that I've packed away my crumbling 1000 page word-finder in an attic box because I thought I could escape the need of using a paper copy. Looks like this was a short-sighted move on my part. Need to pull down the attic ladder and find it before it dissolves into dust. I noticed too that my former resource the PC Encylopedia has become pregnant with links to sites that sell software I don't need, and it takes me twice as long to find the answers to my questions.

Not long ago, I thanked my lucky stars that the internet was a place where I could ask many a question and get it answered. It was my genie or magic question box. Now, the genie has become a brillo creamed traveling flim flam artist flashing pictures of elongated weiner dogs or pigs promising me that I can get a $170K house mortgage with a $765 monthly payment (most likely with a shitty 3 year ARM that will result in a monthly payment increase of several hundred dollars after the expiration date). Fuck 'em! Fuck 'em all.

The internet has become ripe with crappy penile dysfunction ads and pop-ups pushing family tree research. As a child when I was growing up it seemed that the geneology thing was a sort of crutch for those people who felt that inadequate about their accomplishments or insecure about who they were. My family, I'm sure I came from a long line of pig-shit shovellers, but you know what... who fucking cares? It's what you do with your life not your past.

What's next? Will people now pay for ad free resources just as people pay for cable television to view (supposedly) high caliber television programming? Or will we just have to remain patient and sift through the countless marketing ploys and flashing pop ups to get the nuggets of information that we need?

Does anyone out there have a link to a decent on-line thesaurus?

Am I alone here in thinking that knowledge and the tools which facilitate the gathering of it should be FREE goddamnit!

I'm working on re-writing a promotional brochure for someone. Hopefully honing my skills for doing something else. I will confess that that last job interview didn't turn out to be as great a success that I wanted it to be. I have the rough skills needed for the job, but I don't have the benefit of experience, but to be honest, it felt wonderful interviewing for another job. When I was asked why I wanted to leave my current position... I had to choke back the urge to blurt out, "Because I don't want to work for a company run by complete and utter dorks who are out of touch with everything." The adulterer in me sees job hunting as a sort of clandestine activity not unlike dating when you're in a bad relationship or marriage. You might feel loved and attractive because they appear to want you. You might feel the energy and excitement from the initial interview and courting with resumes and cover letters, but when it comes down to the actual dates and coitus you realize, maybe this just isn't what I hoped it would be. Maybe I'm better off on my own for a while.

For the past month or so I've been scripting my exit interview in my head.

What the Fathers really meant?

2005-05-27T22:29:00.000-07:00

You know I was just reading a note here by the breadchick about intolerance and hate fueled by religious fervor and then I suddenly though maybe that's why the founders of this country so wanted to insure the separation of church and state...

They were born of a heritage of religous wars that plagued Europe for hundreds of years. It's only natural that they viewed a utopia/government as being free of direct religious influence. Hello. Tell that to your fundy-insert-my-bible-and-religious-beliefs-in-your-law proponents.

Well, he's not the mustachio'ed individual I'd liken him to

2005-05-27T08:17:00.000-07:00

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/05/27/AR2005052700374.html

Bush as Groucho offensive? I If anything this is a terrible offense to Groucho, may he rest in peace. How could you liken a retarded ape to a highly sophisticated and learned individual who brought joy and laughter to millions. I could think of another prominent figure of the past who I'd rather compare the other side of America's president to... and his mustache is much more sparse than Mr. Marx's. Though almost everything the press focuses on today seems like a staged and carefully thought out ploy from run away brides to fake Koran trashing stories.

Have you gotten there yet?
Trust no one in the media.

Of course using his picture in such a way for a school play poster does seem sophmoric. Public high school ironically is such a bad place for social commentary and expression. The irony lies in the fact that challenging authority is a normal part of becoming an adult. It's a bit sad really, because it's usually the youth of the nation who are more likely to question the status quo. I'm hopeful though, because youth tend to be adept at forming avenues to and for counter-culture outside of institutions. They do so in the music and art they create, and in the way they purchase and consume.

I believe that American culture, being prone to hyperbole and youth worship, often puts too much emphasis on the freshness of youth perspective and neglects the experience and savvy of older generations. In fact, our market economy is highly youth driven. Maybe the aging of the Boomers will change this perspective. It saddens me really that we remain terribly unsophisticated in our understanding and appreciation of what all generations can offer a culture.

Want a healthy does of disgruntlement and paranoia over the holiday weekend? Here are my picks to watch if you want to actually stay indoors this weekend.

3 pack of Fictional Stories about Media Culture:
The Long Game (Episode of Dr. Who 2005 series)
Network
How to Get Ahead in Advertising (Worried about boils?)

Hawaiian Breakfast

2005-05-18T16:04:00.000-07:00

Okay, I' m on the Big Island right now Kona side. We're staying in a bungalow with family and friends. I'm trying desperately to figure out a way to move here. Should I start a breakfast place? Though I know anything we do would be an uphill battle. So there's a live volcano here... who cares. I feel like living in the US right now is like living on a live volcano, though the virgins and saintly ones are all so polluted throwing them in might alleviate our annoyance and grief but then send the fire goddess spewing brimstone. Even before her deflowering Brittany might give the Goddess the trots. Might as well throw in a bunch of Texas Republicans, but probably would be better to feed her pallets of Hormel chili from Costco.

Wednessday Kona Breakfast Menu
Fried Spam
Scrambled Eggs
Pineapple Juice
Kona Coffee
Freshly cut Papaya with lime juice, sweetened with cane sugar
Hawaiian French Toast with Lilikoi Syrup and Macadamia Nuts

Hawaiian French Toast (for 2)
Four slices of Hawaiian Bread, use the rectangular loaf
2 large eggs
1 1/2 tsp dark rum
2 1/2 tbsp sugar
3/4 c. whole milk

Lightly toast the bread. Beat the eggs and milk, add the sugar and rum. Pour the custard in a deep plate and soak each piece of bread on each side. Fry in a griddle over medium high heat until browned and custard is cooked. Serve with freshly cut tropical fruit, syrup and macadamia nuts.

Soup the provides substance yet warms your heart

2005-05-16T10:08:00.000-07:00

I actually adapted this from Ms. Stewart. Instead of fresh tomtatoes I use canned fireroasted. Instead of chicken I used Kosher ground turkey. Instead of lima beans I use shelled edamame. I also add about 1 1/2 c. of cooked and lightly salted barley and a couple of dashes of hot Hungarian paprika. The result was a wonderfully hearty and healthy soup that provided more than a modicum of comfort on a very nasty and rainy day. This is a very simple recipe that can be made at the beginning of the week. Like most soups it tastes the best after the 2nd or 3rd day.

1 1/2 lb package of kosher ground turkey
2 medium onions chopped
2 small green bell peppers chopped
2 tbsp grapeseed oil (olive oil will do as well)
1 tbsp French thyme ( 3 tbsp chopped fresh)
1 12 oz can whole fireroasted plum tomatoes
1 12 oz can diced fireroasted plum tomatoes
4 c. of organic chicken broth
1/4 c. worschestershire sauce
Sea salt (1/2 tsp) or more to taste
Freshly ground pepper
1 package frozen sweet corn
2 c. frozen shelled edamame
1 1/2 c. cooked, lightly salted barley
4 dashes (or more to taste) of hot Hungarian Paprika.

Over medium heat saute the onions and bell pepper in the oil until onions are almost translucent in a large thick-bottomed pot. Add the turkey and break up into smaller chunks. Salt and pepper and cook until cooked through. Add the tomatoes, broth, worchestershire sauce and thyme bring to a boil then reduce heat to a simmer cover and cook for 15-20 minutes. Taste and add salt and pepper to taste if needed. Raise the heat to medium low and add the corn, edamame and barley. Season with paprika and allow to cook for about 10 minutes more. Serve warm with crusts of whole wheat artisan bread.

Bearer of Olive Branches

2005-05-11T20:24:00.000-07:00

So I have to fill out this informational questionnaire for the job I'm applying for, I've got it all done except for one question... Can you give an example of a time when you had to act as mediator to get two people to agree on something?

Uh... I prevented my mom from throwing a vase at my dad once when she was pissed at him. Does that count?

I've prevented or ameilorated countless conflicts between people, but usually I was one of those people. I'm hard pressed to come up with an example that I think is appropriate for this survey. I think I've done a job with the rest of the questions, and the answers to those just flowed out without a problem.

My policy usually when there's a conflict between two people is to let them duke it out or separate try to pull one of them away (usually the person I'm more famliar with) if it's severely uncomfortable or looks threatening. Let them cool off and come back and meet each other on calmer terms. I'm not a buttinsky, no sir. Maybe I'm not right for this job. I just can't think of any examples that are work related and aren't unprofessional, inappropriate or embarrassing to talk about.

Addendum:
I just sent out that questionnaire... here's mud in my eye!
By the way... Coffee Rocket cracks me up: http://coffeerocket.blogspot.com. I loved the Gerber Spill story... was rolling on rug in my office for a while there.... now I need to get back to work. Godsteeth it's allready 10:22 in the P.M.

CC:

2005-05-11T13:53:00.000-07:00

I've noticed lately that people here have been copying everyone on e-mails, especially when they're pissed off or have issues with someone's actions. Perhaps they want to share their anger and frustration with others. I don't think there's been much openess around here in meetings. I see a lot of people agreeing to schedules that are unrealistic. I don't see as many people standing up in meetings and raising concerns or looking at universal impacts. As everyone telecommutes (which is a both a blessing and a curse) there's a tendency not to focus during meetings... multi-tasking becomes a way of life (because you can always hit mute). Lately, too upper management has been pushing us to reduce the detail in our status report down to the nubbins. It's coming from the very top down. I smell something wrong... something stinky... about all of this or maybe it's just a precusor to increased lack of productivity and lack of connection between workers. I wouldn't be surprised if they started curbing the work at home movement in half a years time.

I'm utterly infatuated...

2005-05-09T21:27:00.000-07:00

I'm going to go off on a little Samurai Champloo fix here:

Okay, in my past I've gone for the smart-mouthed bad-boy... maybe the punk who get's thrown out of seedy clubs like the Satyricon (that dates me here in pDX) or the guy who just has that hint of aggression beneath his breath and manner when he walks into a bar. You're probably thinking... How could you, Imogene? That's so cliche.

I would have totally gone for the Mugen character and fallen completely in love with his abrasive and brusque and straighforward demeanor... but somehow, now, I'm more of a Jin girl:

http://www.madman.com.au/samuraichamploo/index2.html

I like the air of discipline, but yet still beneath all the training and seeming complacency Jin seems like a spirit who questions things and is not afraid to stand up for what he feels is right. He is quiet, and maybe a little disturbed in his lonliness, but when it comes down to the line, he's willing to take risks to learn and even conquer or win over his enemies.

I wouldn't base my idea of an ideal man on this guy... it's just a crush.

I'm a nut... how could I be infatuated with a cartoon character and at my age? :)

On a related note, I've been reading more about Musashi Minamoto the samurai martial arts master who wrote the Book of Five Rings a treatise on the philosophy of Bushido and the art of war... he said something that really struck a chord with me and how I've been feeling about my job and this whole corporate life:

As I see society, people make arts into commerical products. They even think of themselves as commodities, and also make implements for their commercial value. This attitude is like flowers compared with seeds: the flowers are more numerous than the seeds; there is more decoration than reality.

The seeds being the knowledge and skill needed to reproduce things of worth and beauty. He was refering to is disdain for the 'commericialization' of martial arts in his time; however, I feel that his words apply to the drive and need for quick products, quick fixes, fast push out to market driven by the corporate competitive mentality. Maybe I'm simplifying things here but if we don't focus on the honing of products and developing quality items in the end we'll be left with a lot of... crap. Maybe I'm overstepping my bounds, but I really think that there are enough people in this world who are hungry for things of real substance. They want more than just the shitty well-targeted and marketed movies that go straight to video and into some parent's DVD player as a form of kiddie opium. They want more than the plastic fascimilies of coconuts or tropical fish fashioned into dinner ware that can be tossed into a land-fill after a few months of use.

I believe that thoughtless consumerism is detrimental to the soul. I believe that creation of things of substance and beauty are the way of the future... not a thing of the past.

P.S.
I applied for a job outside of the company... with a smaller company, and have been called in for a preliminary interview.. but shhhhhhhhh... don't tell anyone. I may not get it. Who knows, but the hiring manger I spoke with seemed really receptive and happy to talk with me.

Folding Napkins

2005-05-08T11:27:00.000-07:00

I was looking for a way to fold napkins for our Mothers Day brunch, and I found this excellent site called the International Guild of Professional Butlers. I can understand taking pride in caring for others and making things nice for them. Hopefully, those who are taken care of appreciate the time and care taken by their staff.

I settled on the "Rose:"

http://www.butlersguild.com/guests/napkin_folding/rose.html

I passed on the "Pope's Mitre" because it looked far too stiff and uptight. I actually found that it wasn't as easy as it looked, because cloth, of course, doesn't hold it's form and folds like paper. I wanted to achieve a sort of "spring" floral and garden theme. So I decorated the table with candles in different shades of green, and placed two potted clematis vines (which were gifts to the two wonderful moms attending) at either end of the table.

The two brothers brought the dishes* below :). It was a wonderful time. This is what I enjoy most about my family is that we always get together on occassions like these and share in good food and stories.

Menu:
Fresh fruit and yogurt parfaits drizzled with honey and cinnamon(used the excellent Greek yogurt)
Apricot glazed roasted pork-loin
Lemon asparagus
Barley and orzo pilaf
Cottage pancakes with lemon
Cucumber dill salad*
Grape and strawberry salad with red wine and balsamic vinegar*
Spinach and egg strata with fennel sausage*
Bellinis to drink

You thought 30 was old...

2005-05-07T19:51:00.000-07:00

Looks like 21 years is the target date for ending your life in Bryan Singer's re-make of Logan's Run. I guess this is yet another example of Hollywood pandering to that younger generation aged 12-18. I'd like to think that young people are smart enough to realize when they're being fed a whole load of crap. Who knows I keep hoping that they'll spew back most of this garbage.

I think many Americans are growing weary of the formulaic shit that the American Movie and Television Industry keeps on shovelling out like cartloads of foetid and tedious filler. How many CSI spin-offs can you release? How many faith-tinged family dramas where all the children and parents look so flawless that you'd swear that all of them down to the 12 year old had some expensive work done on them. They all involve casts who look as if they starved themselves on water and low-carb regimens. The fathers all look like semi-altered versions of Alan Thicke and all sport the same inane humor and personality, and don't get me started about the reality tv movement. I hopeful that this is on its way out the door. I've actually christened our television the "Shit Box."

I've been finding myself turning more to British shows and some Japanese and Korean films. I rented the first season of League of Gentleman not long ago. I found it disturbing at first, in the same way a normal person would find a marriage between Monty Python and David Lynch. Yet, it sort of grew on me as I became more involved in the lives of a middle-aged candy-pink lipstick wearing lesbian job counselor Pauline whose main counsel to her 'restart' students involved keeping an ample collection of pens or the suspiciously identical looking couple who run the shop catering only to the "Locals" who obsessed over finding a playmate and mate for the deformed son they kept hidden away in their backroom. It's peppered with all the things that we Americans find so distubing. In fact, it's a delightfully packaged grab bag of the things we still secretly obsess over via trashy docu-features on the eChannel: incest, transexuals, kinky sex, freakishly obsessive recluses.

Interesting Idea to deter theft... but

2005-05-06T17:03:00.000-07:00

It would probably backfire on me.

http://applematters.com/index.php/section/comments/istain_the_ipod_theft_deterrent/

This brings back sad memories of things I've had stolen from me. I remember long ago I had this pair of antique glasses frames that were silver... octagonal shaped. They were super cool. I fell asleep in the library while I was studying (which I often did), and when I awoke they were gone. I looked everywhere, asked a friend to help me find them, but to no avail. You've got to understand that I'm basically Velma from Scoobydoo without my aids to vision. I had to call my roommate to bring my contacts to the library so I could figure out which bus to take home. I guess I could have asked someone to direct me, but I probably would have gotten off at the wrong stop.

I still think that the ipod theft deterrent is a pretty funny invention... says a lot about how that individual valued his music/i pod.

Okay...

2005-05-06T12:48:00.000-07:00

This is just a 'little' disturbing... you have to admit. However, I believe that it is a sign of things to come.

http://www.the-dispatch.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050506/APN/505060896&cachetime=5

Also, I thought that PBS was sacred, but I guess not.
http://www.fair.org/index.php?page=2508

What really disturbs me about the first piece of news is that (assumedly) one's place of worship is a place where one can feel safe, loved and at home. But perhaps this is just too much to ask. Maybe I just have too inclusive a view when it comes to religion. That and the no birth control thing really pissed me off. Maybe it's too much to ask that there is a diety that loves or accepts us for who we are or who we vote for. But a friend of mine would remind me that that's the reason why God was invented... to make sure that people followed the rules of those who were in charge.

I consider myself to be shaped by Catholic values. Religion plays a formative and indelible role in our lives when we are young if we are raised within a religion. Even if we are not we learn moral codes and how to get along by the examples provided by our elders. The good memories I remember from the church of my childhood and adolescence were the times when we spent volunteering and helping others in the community. Somehow there are also hazy memories from when I was five or six of the image of the Virgin Mary as a figure who was loving and accepting, the typical archetype of motherhood. The Holy Mother is probably one of the most appealing and human face of the Catholic church. Her image is shrouded in mystery though most of the pr material developed around her was not put forth until the 20th century. Why wouldn't forsaken children see her apparition? They are looking for a motherly champion.

But where are any such images of compassion or acceptance in the action of religious excommunication? I believe that Christianity (before it was adopted by the ruling Romans) was appealing as an ideology to those Romans who were weary of the harshness of their social mores and the violence and dominance the Empire held over the world and its subjects. Early Christianity's appeal was built largely on it's doctrine of universal acceptance.

Looking at our past as a race of beings, the actions of that church in East Waynesville, North Carolina aren't new or unique to history. History in fact is replete with examples of groups excommunicating their members (sometimes murdering them) because they don't fit in. The other night after watching some documentary on how we kill off natural predators, I entertained the thought that maybe it's getting too crowded on this planet, and intolerance and violence are the manifestation of societal growing pains.

Forward this link to your manager

2005-05-02T09:02:00.000-07:00

http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/europe/04/22/text.iq/index.html

I seriously feel like a babbling fool by the end of the day when I feel bombarded by requests or questions. Though this job I'm working in now doesn't require me to answer as many dumb questions as the one I came from. I have to say I don't get half as many assinine questions for pie charts that explain where and when I've spent my time. I believe that the nature and quality of questions asked by management and employees say something about the quality and direction of the group you work in.

Yesterday I nearly lost it when this woman who took over my old job sent me an e-mail asking me if it was really worth her time to take an additional web design class to update the courses I had built. I felt like e-mailing her and saying, "How should I know? I don't know how web retarded you are." But then again, she asks me questions again and again about how to fix the MS Access form and she simply doesn't absorb the concept of a primary or unique key (value) or the difference between a one to many relationship and a many to many relationship (and how this impacts the data that can be retrieve from a relational database) despite the fact that I explained these things several times. She still asks questions like, "Well, I don't understand why you can't make it do something like this...?" Maybe she has a future in management.

Though I doubt it. She seems to be one of those people, one of those ladies who makes up for her work by doing more of it rather than working smart and automating things, she seems to be one of those people who feels more secure when the print out every single e-mail instead of filing them or making a value judgement and chucking them in the delete bucket when necessary. I've made it a policy now to answer questions only once as I'm only enabling her if I continue to do so.

My former supervisor treated us both out to lunch a few months ago. Originally, I suspected that the reason why she wanted to bring us together was so that Ms. Thing could 'pick my brain' or more or less leech on to my head and suck it out (not that it would make such a good meal to begin with). However, I realize now that she may have been stroking the woman's nervous nature and coaxing her to ask more questions because she was naturally intimidated by technical things. She had a sort of nervous twinge about her, there was a look in her eye that insinuated fear and subservience. If she were a smoker she would have been much thinner, but it was apparent that she self-medicated with fast food and beanie babies.

I'm no whiz at these technical things myself but part of me felt repulsed by her. Why do I feel so disgusted by this? Shouldn't I be more sympathetic? I hardly qualify as a gen y technorati. Lately, I've been feeling challenged myself because I've become so bogged down by the drudgery of my own job, the volume and the dry content of the subject matter I work with, that I haven't felt as great an urge to innovate, explore, and learn about new things. When I do, I feel guilty that I took the time to do research on things because I cannot calculate the "Return on Investment" for the time I spent on looking them up. Is this the hand of corporate guilt upon me? At the beginning of the year I was making an effort to do more research on Usability and designing learning systems with metadata systems that evolve in a more controlled or predicatable way, as I wanted to make an effort to share skills and knowledge with my group about how to design things for lower impact and better use. However, as I scrolled through course after course of documentation which is signature to our grouop and more it seemed to be out there just for documentation's sake, and I saw monthly status reports from my co-workers which constantly highlighted the 'number' of tools and interventions they delivered rather than the quality or output or outcome. I realized that my efforts and words might fall on partially deaf ears, and maybe it would be better to search for greener pastures. Crunch, crunch, crunch... the cows here feed primarily on numbers.

Questions about your PC? Networking? Primary Keys? Go here:
http://www.webopedia.com/
Honestly, this site isn't as good as it was two years ago. Too many ads now.

Better and illustrated explanation of relational databases:
http://www.creative-wisdom.com/computer/FMP/relational.shtml

On the Bright Side... At Least I Don't Work for Walmart

2005-04-27T09:11:00.000-07:00

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/walmart/

I watched and recoiled in horror to see the absolutely brainwashed culture that thrives in the Walmart environment. Their stockholder/staff meetings resemble a cross between a Baptist Revival and a Political Rally. Their morning staff meetings in stores begin with the whole staff engaging in a snappy little clap as several staff members/clerks proudly describe the "rollback" prices of the day. It made me nauseated just to watch it.

Here's why. When you work in such an environment where the ultimate goal is the success of "your" company you cannot see the larger picture outside of the micro/macrocosm of the company that you work for. Everything is good as long as it is for the good of the company, because the company feeds you, rewards you. Makes things much better for you... that's great, but what about the world you live in? The towns who once depended on the manufacturing and production jobs from the companies that went out of business because they could not compete with the lower prices from foreign countries. You don't care because you still have a job, and besides those jobless folks can just get a job at Walmart. Doesn't matter that they have to take a cut in pay that may amount to half. If they work there long enough they can get a discount for the rest of their lives.

Are they really saving a lot of money for Americans in reducing the costs of their purchases or is the growth of their culture benefiting only the employees of Walmart (most especially it's corporate heads and leaders) rather than the rest of America. There is something wrong with a culture that does not make things... that's what my intuition tells me at least. I believe those communities including Medford, Oregon who had the courage and determination to stand up against this Giant are the ones who should be applauded.

Why do I keep on thinking of that horrible Star Trek episode (from the original series)... "You are not part of the BODY!" (Therefore you will become annihilated or rejected).

Addendum:

I've been thinking per recipher's comments: Maybe if we look at the whole idea of capitalism as the Mega-corporate proponents view it as analogous to species existing in an eco system. Maybe this form of capitalism is normal... one species becomes dominant... then wipes out other competing species and also the supporting species because growth in size/population cause them to over-consume... then there is obliteration/destruction/nothing because the mega-species can no longer sustain itself. My whole point is that competition is essential to insuring a healthy environment. Ever hear of the theories of what happened to Easter Island? I can probably come up with better examples if I had the time.

Then again, thinking of those workers who loose their jobs because of outsourcing and because their companies cannot compete with unfair pricing offered by foreign labor sources. We can always hope that they can find other jobs or that the workforce will 'evolve' yet again and these people will just evolve with it... but how? Will we become a nation of gypsy traders on eBay? What will we do? How can you have a healthy economy where businesses can remain competitive and thrive when the people don't have any money to spend because they either don't make as much or don't have a job period?

I know I'm a little off kilter, one need not point this out. I know I could probably use a basic lesson in economics (which do wish to research more about when I have the time). But I think all of these obsessions about the nature of our economy and the system as it exists are why I've developed a fear and revulsion of chains and megastores... this would explain the nightmares I had while I was down in Arizona for business. I dreamt that Daleks (shows what sort of a geek I am I'm afraid) were hunting me in a mall. While I do know we sometimes don't have much of a choice and we do frequent these stores at times, I still think that we can keep them at bay by buying wisely. Case in point. I have an aunt who buys for the sake of buying things...she continues to buy goods and appliances (from washrags to coffee-makers) at the local meglo mart at a discount, but as she buys the very cheaply made versions of things, they often break or degrade sooner than if she had bought a quality made items and paid a premium price. So she needs to buy these things more frequently.

Another example of sort of wasteful consumerism is the purchasing of brightly colored seasonal dinnerware and table accessories (usually made cheaply of plastic). Many major discount stores offer these items. I have bought them before, but I usually use the same set year after year or until they have become too discolored or scratched and even then I stll use them, but not for entertaining. I was initially charmed by a series I found that had a 60's tiki theme. One must admit, that while a dinner set fashioned to look like slices of watermelon might look cute and kind of smart, but is it really necessary to buy a plate set that looks like cantaloupe the next year to replace it?

By the way, I've opted for a nice set of sturdy ceramic ware. Mom's old standby of having a good set of china and a everyday set is always a good idea. If I want to add some decoration to my table... I'm considering some homemade options. Funny, I sound sort of sixties house-wifish... but oh well Brini Maxwell is my heroine :) I guess I sort of went on a stream of consciousness tangent here... talking about unrestricted capitalism and ending with sixties homemaking. But honestly, I believe that basic consumerism is how we live and breathe, and it's also how we exercise our power and choices.

Place settings and stuff:

I would not personally choose these colors, but the concept is nice:
http://www.craftster.org/forum/index.php?topic=4253.0

Table setting basics from DIY:
http://www.diynetwork.com/diy/lc_table_basics/article/0,2041,DIY_14018_2273511,00.html

Cute little picnic ideas:
http://www.readymademag.com/feature_17_picnic.php

A Hunger Artist and an Efficiency Expert

2005-04-26T12:35:00.000-07:00

I'm working on an idea right now, about a supposedly talented and gifted efficiency consultant who works her magic for reasons similiar to why Kafka's "Hunger Artist" fasts. The Hunger Artist of Kafka's famous story fasts and is quite good at it simply because he does not like food. The Efficiency Artiste makes less work of things simply because she abhors the thought of work. She is, in reality, lazy in spirit and prefers to spend her time thinking of other things than the management of commodities, and optimization of reporting structures.

http://www.lundwood.u-net.com/ahunga.htm

Tool Land

2005-04-24T12:32:00.000-07:00

We were given another spreadsheet tool to track our progress here at work. More work to track work. Another metric, another tool. Let's see that's an extra hour a week I have to be filling out this spreadsheet. If there was something wrong with the old metric why don't you just get rid of it. Three weeks vacation including sickdays... I have to do 49 hours of crap work... and it doesn't stop even when management is on vacation.

The other week I was tasked with reviewing a number of trainings that were posted on of which was a series of seven or eight courses with no less than 150 pages of content for each course. Each page was a screenshot and some text- a screenshot, text, text, text. Screenshot. Some pages were all text. I believe in being thorough, but there's got to be a way to make things more presentable and at least digestable. When I was developing materials for an engineering team I protested when our main method was to provide bulleted powerpoint after powerpoint. Maybe a page or two graced with one of those stupid string beings. A friend of mine sent me a graphic of two of them doing it doggy style and I lost it. When I questioned my supervisor about it she just smiled and said: "They're engineers. They can take it."

People here at my work move with rhythmic determination. They're always on a track. Cheery, cheery never dreary. Some never pause to question what they're doing but just go with the motions.

While I'm on some catty and inappropriate subjects this month...

2005-04-24T10:33:00.000-07:00

Perhaps this is the month where I'm having my period... that is I am rather irregular (in more ways than one), it would just be better perhaps if I was unburdened on all my 'feminine duties' for the bulk of the year and just had to deal with them in one month... I could spend this month sequestered away from the rest of society in the wild and rage with the wolves or whatever that new-age book from the 90's suggested I do. By the way I never read it. Wasn't it on Oprah's book club?

In anycase, I was thinking that as I grow older, like most, I have this tendency to look on generations who are younger than myself and say... that's far more messed up than we ever were. I can't help but remember the episode of South Park on the "Stupid Spoiled Whore" phenomenon brought about by young girls idolizing and emulating the girl named "B" and Paris Hilton. Such is the tendency of the older to comment upon the licentious nature of those who are younger than they. More, it seems that there is this unspoken barrier that divides what is appropriate for the younger generation and inappropriate for the older generation in terms of sexual behavior, attitudes, clothing styles and mannerism. The younger generation, of course recoils at the thought of the older generation, namely their parents having any sort of sexuality whatsoever. A friend of mine who is about my age works as a nurse and a few years ago she noted that she had a patient who was in her late seventies who was in the early stages of dementia who attacked her verbally one day. "I was a nurse once, and in my day we wore little white uniforms. We dressed the right way. We didn't dress like TRAMPS like all of you..." I had to laugh when she related this story back to me because apparently the woman didn't realize just how rampant the cliche fantasy of nurses in little white uniforms was with many men including some of the countless dorks who tried to date my friend.

This barrier to sympathy of the sexuality of generations set up by social norms probably due to some reason tied to the practicality of reproduction. Why would you want to think of people your parent's age or older having sex... until of course you get to that age. At dinner the other night we all had a laugh reminiscing about the whole subject of finding pornography in the home. "Here's my take on this," I said," If you don't want your kids to find it in your house then don't keep it there. Doesn't matter if you put it in boxes underneath scores of boxes or even set up a state of the art security system. Your children will find it now matter where it is, and then they will find a way to get to it. Enforcing some horrific guilt about sexuality might be one's only bet on getting them not to look at it (however this too can backfire as the most ardently sought out literature is that which has been forbidden), but then too you don't want to be responsible for them having to pay tens thousands of dollars for therapy later in their lives to sort out their sexual hang ups or perversions. Don't keep it in the home, but chances are they'll find it at someone elses home. That's what sleepovers are for."

Vanity, my ass

2005-04-17T10:04:00.000-07:00

vanity sizing (VAN.uh.tee SYE.zing) n. The practice of placing a smaller size label on a larger size garment.—vanity size v.
Definition from Word Spy

This all reminds me about a scene from a movie, a period piece set in the 18th century. I'm making up this dialogue right now, but I'm sure that this scene has played out somewhere either in reality or fiction and the time period or players are not fixed. A rather rotund but very rich countess or baroness or some other titled woman goes to see a snively little tailor who seems more lizard-like in his mannerisms and movements than human. Madame is viewing the selection of fashions which have just arrived and the lizard tailor fans the woman's vanity while encouraging her to favor his product.

"Oh I'd love to take this, but you can't possibly make this for someone like myself."
"Why madame, Of course not, your figure is so demurely porcine... I- I mean petite."
"Monsieur, you flatter me..."
"Why of course, Madame."

It's no secret that today many designers are dropping sizes despite the actual girth of one's figure. This really irks me because before I actually had a way of telling if I was getting fat or gaining weight. I suppose now I will just have to keep that old pair of Guess jeans from the late 80's and use it as a gauge. "Nope, can't get one leg into those pants, I guess you need to loose some weight."

Here's how I really feel about this:

IT'S A FUCKING LIE!

The nasty one in me talks to herself (in her head of course) as I try to put on a pair of pants in the Meier and Frank dressing room. "You can't fit into a size four anymore than I could fly a goddamn balloon around the planet." In all actuality, I am a nice round eight. On the other hand, I realize that I still need to work out in order to stay happy body-wise. I may not be rail thin, but at least I've got muscle tone and good bone density.

I read an article this morning that brought up the point that we are cheating ourselves and our own self images if we fall into the trap of this "Vanity" sizing. We are only reinforcing the idea that there's one way to look... extremely thin. On the otherhand, I think it's also propelling us into the notion that we don't have to do anything to stay healthy.

If they really wanted us to buy those damn clothes they'd put up funhouse mirrors (with skinny reflections) and softer lighting, maybe some plants and some wicker furntiure in their fitting rooms.

More:
http://www.fitme.com/Fitme/html/PublicRelations/coverage/Vanity_Sizing_AZ_Rep_0104.htm

http://www.wnwo.com/Global/story.asp?S=1771013&nav=1aI8M8qf%EF%BF%BDvanity

Cursed by my earlier comments

2005-04-16T12:55:00.000-07:00

Remember when I said that I wish I could mute the people I was in a teleconference with... well that comment came back to bite me. I will confess that I was in a meeting (while at home yesterday) and that I am if you haven't figured it out yet, a little scatter-brained. I made the mistake (which I will never ever ever do again) of starting something to cook on the stove while I'd called into a meeting. Someone drew me back to my desktop to answer a question which I thought would be brief... then suddenly I smelled a toasted grain and burning odor wafting from the kitchen. My rice was burning (don't ask why this Asian woman doesn't have a rice cooker, okay!)

I ran to the stove...
"Shit, shit... it's burning!" I grabbed the pan and noisily plunked it into the sink and then turned the cold water on it.

Then suddenly I realized that I hadn't switched my phone over to mute. Thought I heard someone sighing exasperatedly on the phone. Oooops.... .... so sorrry.

Okay, I promise, this was really really REALLY stupid, and I will never ever do it again. Cook rice in a pan while I'm in a teleconference, I mean. I will admit that I got some perverse pleasure from having a few people at work hear me swear.

I've started a separate blog for my knitting projects. Hopefully, I can get the photos of what I've finished posted soon. However, I think that the firewall is preventing me from posting them... probably something instituted by my work to prevent the many frustrated employees who are blogging.

http://lolocoknitter.blogspot.com/

Oatcakes with Cherry Preserves

2005-04-16T11:31:00.000-07:00

This morning I found some leftover steelcut oatmeal in a pot in the fridge. Eyeballing it, I'd say.. it was about 1 1/2 cups of cooked oatmeal. I added some whole wheat flour (about 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons), 1 pinch of salt, 1 egg, 2/3 c. milk, 1 tsp butter & 2 tbsp shortening melted, 1/2 tsp baking powder, 2 tbsp of sugar, and a dash of cinnamon.

The result was a very tasty set of oatcakes to feed two that tasted quite good with sour cherry preserves and lowfat ricotta. So my dearest ate them up to his delight. He's so sweet, he'd eat even the botched up things I make and still kiss me on the top of my head for cooking for him. And he returns the favor by making some of the most wonderful things like the chicken breasts with spicy chutney or porkchops with a mango & cilantro curry sauce.

God Save the Queens

2005-04-16T08:15:00.000-07:00

I mean it! Was looking up info on the Domestic Diva, Brini Maxwell when I found the New York City Girls on the Queen Mother site. And suddenly I became lost in the world of glamor and razor sharp cat-clawed wit. I can't stop... love the names.... Flotilla Debarge, Miss Ming Vauze, Miss Understood...Hedda Lettuce. I did appreciate Hedda's "Do's and Don't's at a Drag Show."

A sample:
2. Don't sing along with the drag queens song unless you want a 6-inch platform heel thrown between your bloodshot eyes. If you do continue to sing even though a Prada shoe is lodged in your cranium be warned you will be brought up on stage and forced to enter a big dick contest. Which you will loose. Pity does not work in a big dick contest and the blood coming from your forehead, though performance art like is a bit out of place. Snap!

I remember once in San Francisco this girl and I were smoking on the steps of her aparment building when a 6 foot 4 beauty made her way up the steep incline of the hill in four inch heels, and a smart denim miniskirt. "Goddamnit," she said as she took a long drag, "I hate it when they have better fucking legs than I do." Drag queens, the celebrated and best, possess a uppity grace that I can only aspire to mimick in it's weakest form.

I was listening to an Interview with Dolly Parton on NPR (I think) and I think she said, "I'm glad I was born a woman... if I wasn't, hell, I'd probably be a drag queen." Dolly said how when she was a little girl, she remembered seeing a woman who was 'all done up' with all the make up, red lipstick and the short skirt and remembering how much she admired her appearance, despite the fact that her horrified mother insisted that the woman was nothing but "trash." Dolly Parton, of course said one of my all-time favorite quotes: "It takes a lot of money to look cheap."

Tofu Universe

2005-04-15T18:46:00.000-07:00

Here's something quick. Don't let the list of ingredients fool you. I'm no Martin Yan, but I've eaten enough Chinese food to know what passes for good. This isn't fancy, but it'll do and it's pretty healthy. In my kitchen at the end of the week when you just can't bring yourself to go to the store to get what you need, you just have to make do with what you've got. Like most Asians who've been schooled in how to eat right, I always keep oyster sauce, soy, hoisin, and fish sauce around just in case I need it. I made this in about 15 minutes - no joke. The best fermented black bean paste to get is the kind that comes in a jar and is mixed in some oil. Use it sparingly because it's fairly strong. Serve atop white or brown rice.

1 lb block of tofu cut into 1/2 inch strips
1 large clove of garlic minced
1 tbsp peanut oil
1 tsp hot blackbean (fermented) paste concentrated
2 tbsp oyster sauce (regular or vegetarian option)
1 tbsp hoisin sauce
1 tsp concentrated soy sauce
1 tsp brown sugar
1 tbsp Chinese cooking wine or reg. sherry (optional)
dash or two of white pepper
1 bag of stirfry veggies (already cut up)
1 tsp peanut oil
1 tbsp of chicken or vegetable broth
1 tablespoon of soy sauce + 1 tbsp of oyster sauce
Sesame seeds - black and white

Mix the soy, hoisin and oyster sauces and fermented black bean with the brown sugar and wine or sherry (set aside). In a wok or large pan. Heat the oil to high heat without smoking. Reduce to medium high and add the garlic and saute until translucent. Add the tofu and toss. While tossing add the mixed sauces to the tofu and toss until coated well. Cook for 1-2 minutes and place in a separate dish. Return the wok or pan to the stove without washing it. Turn the heat up to high and add the peanut oil. When oil is very hot add your vegetables and splash the broth and soy sauce/oyster sauce mixture. Cook on high for 2-3 minutes. Do not over cook. Remove from heat and arrange the vegetables on a dish and pour the tofu in the middle. Garnish with black and white sesame seeds. Done.

It's a Wholpin?

2005-04-15T12:03:00.000-07:00

http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory.mpl/nation/3135982

Love, War, Nihilism, Free Will, Vodka & Dumplings

2005-04-14T16:55:00.000-07:00

Ironically, now that spring his here, I’ve been craving several things Russian: a story by Chekov, Cherry flavored Vodka (made by treating quality vodka with cherry pits), and of course dumplings both pelmeni and piroshki. Russian food is relatively simple when you consider the ingredients: flour, salt, pepper, onions, butter, meat. Even the cookie recipes don’t seem to have an ingredients list naming more than 6 items. I’ve always believed that there’s something comforting and reaffirming about this simplicity. Though it is true that the love and care needed to make dumplings and pastries by the dozen like Kolachi probably make up for lack of an extended list of ingredients in most Russian recipes. Russian dishes seem straight forward and to the point; however, their preparation can be quite involved and requiring labor.

During my first year of teaching, I was so worn-out and stressed out that I would get migraines on a regular basis. To this day I have not had a migraine since. We had a growing Ukrainian population in this neighborhood and during one of the celebrate our ethnicity days a parent had brought in an elaborately decorated karavai or bread. The bread was tiered like a wedding cake and had an intricate pattern of birds sitting upon leafy branches. Each of the ornamental pieces was cut individually and great care was taken to insure the details in the veins on the leaves or the wings and features of the little birds. I was so touched by the fact that someone had take the time and put all the love and care into fashioning this bread that my eyes started to tear up. My state of exhaustion only amplified the emotional upsurge... "Someone cared enough..."I nearly declared in an emotionally cracked tone," Someone cared enough to bake this bread." Of course this makes me laugh right now to think of my silliness, but on the other hand my belief was affirmed that people have the need to fashion objects and imbue them somehow with their care and maybe part of their spirit. The woman (or man) who had made and decorated this bread certainly put their heart into the endeavor. Russian authors, or at least the ones I’ve read, seem to apply a similarly dogged and methodical care when it comes to probing questions of character and morality.

I’ve always had a fondness for Russian literature, maybe because I could relate to their need for the portrayal of realism in their stories despite the sad and possibly pessimistic painting of reality they portay. A friend of mine once noted that I probably liked the Russian writers because many of them shared a rather brooding quality in their tone and their subjects were usually tortured in some way. “Brooding and tortured.. just like you perceive yourself, “he laughed.

Raskolnikov, Dmitry Karamazov, Uncle Vanya… especially Uncle Vanya all were and still are characters who are dear to me. Uncle Vanya, despite being a amiable drunk always struck me as someone who could love despite his drunken lolling in the futility of his life and appointment. Maybe there’s some Uncle Vanya in me somewhere. Perhaps what draws really me to Russian literature is that they are better equipped at asking questions about social responsibility or even moral responsibility. Sometimes to a simple American like myself, these questions push the envelope a little when it comes to the acceptance of free will. Maybe that’s why so many Russian writers drank (that and the cold monotonous winters) because now faced with the understanding that they had a responsibility to think and act on their own. Naturally, exercising this responsibility has some unpleasant consequences. So Inspired by my desire for realism and questioning, and inquiries on Free Will, I went to the Gutenberg Project and found a collection of Russian short stories for me to read one by one while I ride the bike a the gym. Though I’d rather sit at home with the classical station on and a bottle of vodka handy, but here’s to healthy living.

Is reality so bad? Do we really need to hide from it? I myself have been grappling with some issues about my life as it is?

Why would I rather knit a tank top than tackle the project management schedule I have lined up?
My body is aging, and changing because of that I need to accept that.
I don't fit in here at work and I never will.
My father has the maturity of a 13 year old with aspergers and I just have to deal with the fact that he’ll always bring up uncomfortable topics without tact.

There that wasn’t so bad. At least it’s a start.

Russian Recipes:

Kolachki (Nut dumplings/cookies)
Nut pastries with a rich cookie crust made with dairy cheese. I remember living in Chicago and having access to some wonderful Eastern European bakeries. These cookies were a favorite of mine. I’ve made them before, long ago, but I flavored the walnut filling with a bit of nutmeg and lemon zest.

http://pages.prodigy.net/dkomar/kolachki.htm

Siberian Pelmeni (Poached Pastries):
http://www.funet.fi/pub/culture/russian/food/food.html

Another Pelmeni recipe
http://www.russianfoods.com/recipes/item00074/default.asp
Apparently they’re good with a strong Russian mustard.
I believe that they would taste quite good with a horseradish/mayonaise sauce. This plum sauce sounds absolutely wonderful.

Apple Vareniki
More dumplings with an apple filling this time.
http://www.russianfoods.com/recipes/item00079/default.asp

Lamb Pilaf
http://www.russianfoods.com/recipes/item0014F/default.asp

More Articles on Russian Foods and Culture:
http://www.foodmuseum.com/springholidays.html
http://www.auroville.org/thecity/russian_pavilion/russian_pavilion_foundation.htm

Other rants...

It’s really been bothering me lately with this trend of conservatism running rampant in American culture that people will be more apt to live in denial of their problems and hope that something greater or better will come along and fix them up. American optimism has it’s place, especially when it’s necessary to counter the nihilistic tendencies of those who believe that it’s futile to struggle for change or improvement in life or any other endeavor. However, I see the conservatives of today touting a false sense of optimism and security. More their proclivity for deceit and cover up in addition to their attempts to change our government’s workings and constitution leave me without comfort. Under their power and ‘guidance’ they will bring us into an age where questioning or challenging those in power will be extremely frowned upon if not impossible.

My intuition tells me that their bumbling about by changing House Rules concerning ethics and attempts to take power from the “Activist Judges” (Maybe they should read the Judge Dredd comic books… or ooops, maybe they have) will all end poorly for both sides or all of us. Something smells of the German Weimar Republic early 1930’s.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weimar_Republic#The_collapse_of_the_Weimar_Republic_and_the_rise_of_Hitler

God will provide, so let’s get him (us) involved in our government. Government officials need not be accountable for their acceptance of gifts and favors from parties who require them to turn a blind eye to ethically questionable practices by corporations or groups represented by lobbyists. In fact, it is acceptable to deny that they have done anything wrong. Lie, lie just like Goebbels said, and the bigger the lie the better because if you repeat it over and over again, people will eventually come to believe it. (Sorry had to bring that up again).

Oh and by the way, if you don’t believe as we do, that’s too bad. You won’t be able to benefit from the services and funds that are being given to religious organizations (namely the ones that we feel are acceptible). We need to build a society where there's more of a smack in your face divide between the "haves" and the "have nots." Those people who have little or nothing don't matter anyway, because they have God. God will take care of all of them and judge them as well, but since He's really, really busy... let's assume that we know what He wants and judge these people for Him.

This is what frightens me about this government is that they are so willing to judge what is morally right and wrong and become involved in people's personal lives. They assume that folks do not have the ability or right to determine what is right for themselves. They feel that there is absolutely nothing wrong with church becoming a integrated into the government. Their efforts clearly support the rich though they mask their motives and maneuvers with their righteous moralistic crusades. They bully those politicians who may speak out against them by threatening them with the "righteous army" of constituents that they control.

And all the while I feel that we're supposed to do nothing, we're supposed to follow along and do our jobs, business as usual. Just as at my work, we're supposed to follow what upper management says even if their notions are cracked.

I read a stories the other day of a people who hid or aided Jews during the German Holocaust. And it seemed that most of these individuals had one thing in common: the believed in Free Will and the idea that they had to stand up for what they saw was wrong. As one of these individuals who was honored for his effforts said of his father, "he had taught me to fight for what I thought was right, and that those who follow like sheep are led to the slaughter. "

I'm sorry, these aren't happy thoughts and I should go back to just writing about my mental anguish at working in a cubicle environment or talk about food, wonderful food.

http://motlc.wiesenthal.com/pages/t077/t07748.html

***

Sometimes I wish you could mute the folks in the teleconference

2005-04-14T16:05:00.000-07:00

No, I wasn't irritated by anyone or beleaguered by pestering questions... it just occurred to me that it would be nice if you could put the people on mute during periods of chit-chat.

State of things

2005-04-06T11:47:00.000-07:00

From reading the Google front page....

One thing I will not about the Pope in all honesty, is that he was by far one of the more tolerant Popes in history. I suppose growing up in a Jewish neighborhood in Poland had this affect on him and this was quite fortunate for the rest of us.

The Pope apparently institutionalized "mass production" of saints... it's quite a good PR move that follows the master strategies for public relations taken by the church milennia ago (i.e. holy relics, adoption of pagan celebration dates as Holy Days (holidays), you name it). Canonizing saints in Asian and other countries certainly does give a more diversified face to the Catholic church, but then the Yoruba descended slaves in the Portuguese colonies were doing this on their own and in secret hundreds of years ago. Instead of praying the the Holy Virgin they were actually praying to the godess of the sea Yemanja, and the pantheon of their gods was assigned to various Catholic saints. When I was 16 I had the good fortune to witness the festival of Yemanja on the beaches of Rio de Janeiro. Thousands and thousands of candles burned on the beach and in the hands of the devoted as they launched a flotilla with her effigy surrounded by flowers into the ocean. If only the services I had attended as a child held so much power and intrigue, but alas I was exposed only to the hippy-folk stylings of the church musician/minstrel who had an excessive fondness for the Prayer of Saint Francis. The song itself isn't bad. I just didn't enjoy experiencing a loop of it in mass after mass. We were lucky if we occassionally got to break into the "Great Amen," which was the closest we got to a gospel spiritual type song.

I joked with my mother once that if Vatican II hadn't rolled around the Mass would still be in Latin and I would still be Catholic, not because of the mystery and ceremony that remained in the body of the Mass, but because I would be able to understand what they priest was saying or have to listen to the musical selection. It was bad enough that I had the entire service memorized and once or twice when I was very weary, I actually started speaking with the priest on his cues. I don't even think we used incense at our church. It was all pretty new age and hippy-dippy, just not appeal to me even as a seven year old who had just started parochial school.

-------------

Now do we need yet another singing blonde bimbo with a reality show documenting her marriage? I've come to believe that there is something wrong, I mean clinically - DSM WRONG with people who want to share their intimate and private lives with people all over the country/planet (most people in other countries I'd hope have the good sense not to tune into this pile of steaming refuse called programming). If I was a newly wed I think that I'd have better. It's all just another example of individuals prostituting themselves for fame. I've said my piece on Brittany for the whole year now, I'll never mention her again (for in reality, she's not worth mentioning at all and if it wasn't for US and People, and all the other publications she so vehemently attacks, she wouldn't have a career). She's just pissed that Michael Jackson is getting all the attention as of late.

----------------

Ehhhh, Saul Bellow is dead. I walked past him once or twice on campus in Chicago. Actually, I didn't enjoy reading Seize the Day.

All this talk about Brazil has made me hungry for feijoada....

http://www.brazilbrazil.com/feijoada.html

For those of you who wish to find out who their patron saint or birthday saint is:
http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/month00.htm

Maybe it's just me...

2005-04-05T07:46:00.000-07:00

but I would never again date anyone who said that therapy was a load of b.s., hogwash, nonsense. Honestly, you know that these are usually the first people who have issues that they're squirreling away somewhere in the attic recesses of their mind. Even if they don't believe in the value of therapy they should believe in dealing with their issues or problems in someway other than denial. When I was younger I couldn't recognize that this was a problem in some of the individuals whom I chose as friends or as significant others. I think that there was this tacit training I received from my low-context-we-discuss-nothing upbringing that said, "If you're going to pick a partner, make sure they don't have any visible mental problems." Unfortunately, what this training left out is to note that some people who suffer from mental instability are actually very good at hiding what's wrong with them.

A study apparently was conducted that discovered that cognitive (behavior) therapy was more effective in restricting the recurring effects of depression than anti-depressant drugs or a placebo (no treatment). I've never been a huge fan of pumping chemicals into one's body to alter one's mood even for recreation, but I'd always suspected that the chemicals were a mask or a quick fix and at times just fucked with your body's natural harmony (now, I'm sounding like a complete hippy). Once after graduating from college (and having absolutely nothing to do because I could not find a job or market my skills) I was put on prozac to treat my mild depression, and I absolutely hated myself on it. I became "Rabbit" from the 1000 Acre woods. It was impossible for me to stay still and even focus. I did loose some weight though, but overall dropping 5 pounds was not worth feeling like A.D.D. Robot-girl.

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/medicalnews.php?newsid=22319

Lately, I've had this invented themesong running through my head. The lyrics tell about a protagonist who seems to be stuck in one stage of their life, namely their youth. It's like an old 70's ballad that talks about the football jock living in the fantasy of his glory days. On a more exaggerated level, it rings of tones from that movie with William Holden, Fedora, in which the leading lady has become so obsessed with maintaining a visible portrait of youth to her public, that she forces her daughter to take on her identity.

I've come to realize and finally admit that all this obsessing over frozen youth is most likely due to the perceived and real pressure I've been experiencing lately to "grow up," but I usually go through some sort of mild depression when tax-time rolls around. I think that the worries, the thoughts, are symptoms of of getting older. I know I shouldn't worry about these things too much, but I've always worried that I would, like Fedora or the aging football coach have difficulties accepting my passing into maturity, mainly because being a grown up the way it was portrayed by those who are extremely skilled at it... seemed like an honest to God bore of a chore. Is there something wrong with me? I still do what I'm expected, but I can't help but think that those people who really enjoy or get great pleasure from setting up GANTT charts and shuffling indicators in excel spreadsheets... are...uh, kinda boring... (shhhhhh... don't tell anyone I said this)... At least that's what it seems to me. But that's been my problem all along, I'm suffering from a sort of Peter-panism that prevents me from sinking into their world and becoming one with them. I suppose I should just accept who I am and who they are and live in two different worlds.

Still, each time I get flack at work for asking questions (like 'why are we doing this?' or 'what do we get in the long run?' ) which seem obvious and child-like in a way, I get some obscene pleasure out of all of it.

I know I'm a grown up... just not their kind of grown up.

Maybe the grammar NAZI will come back and correct my work :)

One more piece of advice from the not-so grown up office woman child. Read the wonderful post by the Breadchick, "He's the one." It's so, so true in a way I wish I had this sort of insight on picking a love when I was in my early twenties, but then again, I wouldn't have had all the adventures I had good and bad if I was so wise.

Navy Bone Soop for Four
1 large ham bone (and any left over ham fat)
2 1/2 c. navy beans soaked overnight
1 1/2 tsp white pepper ground
One large onion peeled and scored on one end
2 tsp sea salt
3 bay leaves
1 1/2 quarts water

Rinse the beans and place all the ingredients in a large, thick-bottomed pot. Stir. Bring to a boil. Reduce to low and cook for four hours. Discard the fat pieces. If you have a crockpot, leave it all in there in the morning and you'll have dinner when you return from work.

On the road again

2005-03-31T11:45:00.000-08:00

to fitness... I've been working out 3x a week at least and started the tofu diet again, I've made great progress as I've already lost about 3 lbs; however, today I'm craving a big serving of Curry Fries. You know a basketful of golden-fried nirvana blanketed with spicy curry goodness. Mmmmmmm. It's a good thing that curry fries or at least good ones aren't easily accessible around here. Why am I dieting? Confession: vanity. Pure vanity. That and other reasons. Plus I'm actually travelling to a warm destination for vacation in a month and a half and I would like to loose a little before enjoying myself in a more scantilly clad setting.

More, my family history has been worrying me lately, and that's why I've changed my diet to restrict my intake of red meat and salt. Both of my grandparents on my mother's side died before they reached 50 from heart-related illness. It probably didn't help either that they most likely ate a lot of sodium rich foods required by the need to preserve foodstuffs in the tropical third-world where refrigeration was rare or expensive.

I guess I've been trying to re-evaluate my relationship with and view of food for comfort. Though I enjoy getting lost in what I eat and even spending time and care preparing food and goodies for myself and others, I guess age has pointed out that there are some restrictions to how I much I can enjoy the things I once loved so dearly: buttery pastas, bacon-goodness, custardy sweet love. I joked with a co-worker not too long ago that there's a reason why skinny older women (or women of any age) can be kinda nasty: " ... It's cause they don't get much to eat, hon. "You'd be ready to bite someone's head off if you've been deprived of good nourishing sustinance over a long period of time. And if deprivation doesn't transform you into a bitch on wheels it will make a ding-bat of you. I met a girl once who at the time subsisted on a diet of olives and water (which might have made her some sort of Orthodox saint) who really couldn't reason her way out of a paper bag, but she drove men crazy with her cute little figure and huge doe-eyes. Later, I realized how little self-esteem she really had and more that she had an 'inflated' image of herself in the sense that she always perceived that her butt was expanding by the minute. Though maybe this was just a hallucination resulting from her protein deprived diet.

I'm not saying farewell to my cherished comfort foods forever. I'm just going to see them on a limited basis and when I can enjoy better quality renditions in smaller portions at places like this:

http://www.pixpatisserie.com/

2005-03-29T17:06:00.000-08:00

Samurai Champloo rules! God, I feel like I'm 12 years old.

The DVD version came out 3/16 found it while I was shopping at Uwajimaya. The wonderful thing about Shinichiro Watanabe's stories in Anime is that they have endings. No sequels... nothing monstrous like "Land Before Time After Time." Really, I think that sequels, franchises and dynasties deaden us into zombies addicted to the same damn formula over and over again.

If only I had said these things...

2005-03-28T19:58:00.000-08:00

But I guess I've been thinking them all along. I read this person's "Letter to their younger self" today and I was amazed.

http://elroy.net/ehr/answers.html

I have never read such a thorough and compassionate epistle that addresses one's evaluation of faith and belief. I was so thrilled to find this as it seems that of late there's been a great deal of anger and condemnation surrounding faith especially from Fundamentalists. All of the judgement that seems to be passing on It just seems to me that the zealots who have hijacked the media and turned it into their moral pulpit stand for a world where judgement upon others is condoned. This idea has hung over me since the election like an oppressive cloud. More, what bothers me about the whole idea that out government is being pushed to a more Christian/religiously oriented stance by individuals who believe that they are clearly and infallibly in the right. Can we really expect such individuals to embody fairness? I cannot believe some of the outwardly brash actions and words made and spoken by individuals such as Tom DeLay (and our President)? I wonder do they really believe that they can succeed in breaking down the separation of Church and State. My question to them is "Whose church will run the state?" Did the Christian sects and religions suddenly ban together and resolve their doctrinal differences? Considering the 2000 year history of bloody conflict that has plagued Christianity I suppose if it's true they've all united, then this is quite a feat. So who will call the shots in the New American Theocracy? The Mormons? After all aren't they the richer of the the sects?

But something in me believes that this desire to unify Church and State is NOT shared by the majority in our country. I'm beginning to think that the world and more and more of America is sick of the inflated illusion of support behind this shameful administration and it's destructive ploys. What can you say about a President who doesn't make public appearances without barracades that stretch far beyond the camera's gaze so that the non-approved disgruntled's can't be heard? What can you say about his cronies who deny any impropriety when the evidence is so clearly documented? What was it 70-82 percent of Americans believe that the government (president & congress) should wash their hands of the whole Schaivo matter?

Okay, none of this has anything to do with cooking and food, but I cannot help but address this notion that we live in judgemental and oppressive times, as it has been one of the things that I've found to be very upsetting lately, and it seems that no one addresses this adequately in the Media (of course because we know who has control over most of it). Frankly, I'm just tired of the lies, the deceit, the pompous audacity, the fact that ignorance is subtly or not being upheld as a value in this country. I'm tired of hearing that 'that' government is trying to re-shape History via careful omissions. I don't want to hear about these disturbing things anymore. I want to read a poem, listen to my favorite aria. I want to dream of warmer and more comforting times and think of cooking something wholesome and comforting... like of Chicken Soup and Homemade Noodles on a cold rainy day, or maybe some ginger custard or a mug of hot milk with a little Almond syrup. I don't want to be bothered with these ugly and intrusive thoughts. Aren't there others like me who just want to get on with living instead of battling over these things?

2005-03-24T20:24:00.000-08:00

"I wish I had six arms..."

I rented a whole season of the "Young Ones" not long ago. I've been in sort of a disheveled mood lately and the show seemed to fit. In honor of Neil I cooked a pot of lentils and some brown rice to match. I did omit the part about spilling them on the floor.

Lentils
3 c.* lentils soaked at least 8 hours (pour them in the pot and cover them with water before you drag your stinkin' arse to work)
2 tbsp canola oil
4 cloves of garlic
1 large onion chopped
1 4 inch piece of ginger peeled and sliced 1/4 inch thick
1 1/2 tsp. salt
1 tbsp garam marsala
2 tsp hot curry
1/2 tsp black pepper
1 tsp ground mustard
3 cinnamon sticks
1 large lemon washed well

Rinse the lentils. Heat the oil in a large frying pan and saute the garlic and onion until tender. Add the spices and salt. Then add the lentils and cook over medium-low heat for about 10 minutes stirring constantly and adding a little liquid (broth or water) to make sure they don't dry out. Cut the lemon in half and juice it into the lentils. Throw the lemon peel and the cinnamon sticks into the lentils. Pour enough water into the pot so that you have a little under a half an inch extra water above the lentils. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer for about 45 minutes stirring regularly. Add more water if needed. Serve over hot rice.

By the way these taste fabulous the next day. And if you've gotten sick of them before their gone you can make fried lentil cakes. If I have the time, I'll explain later.

*Actually I think it was about 3 cups. I'm not sure I was sort of in a hurry.

Watching the Young Ones reminded me of my early 20s and living in a shithole with a handful of other poor struggling recent college graduates. Mak put up a post about creating a soundtrack for one's life, I was tempted to create my own list, but you know I have to admit my musical taste was stunted for a dark period in my early adolescence because I was shamed by some tart in junior high who decided that it was "stupid" to listen to whatever I was listening to at the time. Of course, when one grows older one realizes the error of one's ways. Regardless, here's my shot:

Opening Credits: STILL WORKING ON THIS
Adolescent moodswing: In My Room - Yaz or How Soon Is Now - Smiths
First Date: Book of Love - Elvis Costello
Falling In Love in the 80's: Rama Lama Lama - Paul Derrick
Love Scene: Too Drunk to Fuck - Dead Kennedys
Fight Scene: Battle Scene from Conan the Barbarian soundtrack
Dork Moment: Heart and Soul - played on a flat key
Breaking up: Why'd You Do It? - Marianne Faithful
3- 6 months after Breaking Up: She's a Brick House - Commodores
Nothing can stop me now: Sing, Sing Sing - Benny Goodman
Secret Love: Having a secret love is a pain in the ass.
Average Day: Lost in the Supermarket - The Clash
I'm in that kick your ass sort of mood day: My Way - Sid Vicious Version
Mental Breakdown: March of the Pigs - Nine Inch Nails
Driving to work: Highway to Hell - ACDC
Learning A Lesson: That crappy piano piece the main character played in the Joy Luck Club when she embarrassed herself in front of a whole audience because she kept flubbing up - This actually happened to me too, and I freaked out and ran out of the auditorium and out the door of the piano store, down a few blocks before my dad caught me. I was seven.
Flashback: My brain is so fried I don't have flashbacks
Regretting: Eyes of Lucy Jordan - Marianne Faithful or Don't We Hate It When Our Friends Are Successful Morrissey/Smiths
Happy Dance: Conversazione - Zerosospiro or Dipsy Doodle - Ella Fitzgerald
Long Night Alone: Stars Fell on Alabama - Billie Holliday version
Death Scene: STILL WORKING ON THIS
Closing Credits: STILL WORKING ON THIS

Bunny Balls

2005-03-23T19:34:00.000-08:00

We were in the bulk aisle in the store stocking up on beans and lentils when J pointed out the labelling on the tubs of Easter candy. A top a barrel of foil-wrapped chocolate balls was a sign with a rabbit holding two balls in his hands or paws or whatever slightly below the mid-section of his body. "Nice cahones," J commented. Right next to this barrel was another tub labled "Nut's and Fluff." I lost it right then and there.

Everyone needs to update their resume every now and then

2005-03-23T18:52:00.000-08:00

Updated from my "Dumbed Down" resume. I guess I've come a long way, baby. From a Secretary (Admin) to Flash Monkey in less than five years time, so I can't really complain about that. I'm still struggling with what I will do outside of this environment. Like the Republicans insist... there's always eBay.

Imogene Hallogene
2345 N Crosstracks Blvd.
Portland, OR 97215
smokethis@yahoo.com (not a real address... at least not associated with me)

EXPERIENCE
Flash Monkey (07/2004 - Present)
Still here
Learning a lot about databases and three letter web building languages. Maybe picking up a thing or two about theory which with some night classes might actually be my ticket out of here to another corporate job in another company in another suburban hell. Who the hell am I kidding? Re-applying to another graduate program now that I've finally paid off my student loans.

Project Supervisor (06/2004 -07/2004>
Guess where?
Given nominal promotion as a result of management's fears that I would be among the several desperate fuckers to leave once there were open positions in another part of the company.
Quit smoking again. Started drinking.

Project Coordinator (05/2003 - 6/2004)
Nameless large corporation in Suburban American Hell
Coordinated projects. Typed a lot. Smoking only on festive occasions (such as 5 minutes after exiting work).

Office Coordinator (10/2001- 05/2003)
Nameless large corporation in Suburban American Hell
General planning. Looked really busy. Started smoking again.

Administrative Assistant Coordinator (7/2000- 10/2001)
Nameless large corporation in Suburban American Hell
Managed group schedules and calendars. Held manager's hand through Windows 2000 upgrade. Quit smoking.

MASTERED COMPUTER APPS AND LANGUAGES
Microsoft FrontPage.
Stealing other people's Flash files and modifying them with my own images and content.

EDUCATION Official Sea Monkey Rancher Certificate Holder - Mail orderLiberal Arts Education - from Southern Idaho school of Horticulture and Molds.

HOBBIES & INTERESTS: Frequenting Batting Cages

Slow Food, Rich Food, Healthy Fat Food.

2005-03-22T06:08:00.000-08:00

I've come to believe that the by product of good, healthy and pleasurable foods is a healthy and happy individual bodily, mentally, and spiritually. Coming from a Catholic background, I was raised under the tradition of Lent in which one is expected to go without something for that period of forty days before Easter Sunday. More the values of ascetism and sacrifice are hard-wired into we former and current Catholics because our superheroes are Saints who built their fame on their anorexic habits, or the denial of their bodily desires.

While I've discovered that abstaining from pound cake certainly makes me quite fond of it when I actually get to eat a piece, I don't think that there's any value in actually forgoing the eating of pound cake for the rest of my life. I think I would actually side with the Fat Friars on the subject of eating and ascetism.

I don't believe that healthy options in eating have to be fancy or so fat-free that they are devoid of any pleasure or taste, nor do they have to take up my time to make. A few months back I saw a newstory on a chain of stores (started by corporate mom's who had it) which focused on allowing busy families time to pre-prepare the ingredients for healthy home-cooked meals which could be easily stored, refrigerated and frozen for use later in the week. Dishes include Caribbean Jerk Chicken, Sesame Pork or Roasted Garlic Chicken in a Skillet. The preparation of the meals can be done at the store location with friends, so the activity actually becomes a time for social connections and fun.

Zorba & Vito Go South

(A little bacon goes a long way)
1/2 lb. mini penne
2 strips of bacon, chopped
1 c. ham (Quality stuff no hormonelle) chopped or prosciutto if you'd like instead
1 medium yellow onion chopped
1/4 c. dry sherry
1 egg beaten with 1 tbsp low-fat milk
1/2 c. chopped Italian parsley
3/4 c. mizythra cheese shredded

Boil the penne. Drain and toss with a little olive oil.

In a med-high pan fry the bacon until done and add the onions. Cook until onions are tender. Add the ham or proscuitto and saute for a few minutes. Add the penne and toss to combine ingredients in pan. Sprinkle the sherry all over the penne and mix to combine. Add your egg with milk and heat for a few additional minutes until the egg is cooked. Remove from heat and toss in the parsley and cheese.

Enjoy with a nice salad or healthy plate of sauteed greens.

Support your local family owned restaurants - screw the chains

2005-03-21T06:30:00.000-08:00

I will never move to Phoenix, AZ as long as I live. I came home on Friday and nearly kissed the damp moldy ground as I stepped out of the airport. After weeks of uncommonly dry weather we'd finally received a few days of rain, and the dampness welcomed me home on the day I returned.

I have nothing against the Arizona desert, the majesty, the rock formations, the canyons, and the beautiful and alien fauna and flora native to the state. I found the desert to be a tranquil and at times a wonderfully unsettling place, but most of my stay found me in the suburban outskirts of town surrounded by long stretches of shopping malls and chain restaurants punctuated occasionally with a golf course or industrial park. Houses and apartment complexes mimicked the look of the Alamo in suburban developments that all stand in uniform and replicated styles. The developers didn't even disguise this fact with slighly different colored facades. I wanted to find one restaurant that did not remind me of an SnappleMees or at least an ethnic or themepark rendition of one. I suppose that's a step though... that people are now exposed to ethnicized versions of food outside of Mexican and Chinese. Maybe there was less diversity of choices in the past, but at least "Eat at Joes" was actually owned by a Joe, or a Carl, or an Edith and not a company listed on Salomon Smith Barney's Restaurant Composite. A favorite place frequented by my co-workers was the Cheesecake Factory, which I initially mistook for a male strip bar, as it apparently featured endless servings and a dessert menu that included 30 different types of cheesecake. As the mere mention of 30 kinds of cheesecake nearly clogged my arteries on the spot, I voted not to go instead dining at some chain Mexican restaurant instead. Of course, we all had to focus on convenience and location instead. Most disturbing of all, was the fact that there seemed to be very few storefronts which belonged to small businesses or individuals. Maybe I just wasn't seeing the real town? I regretted the fact that I didn't rent my own car so that I could explore outside of the suburban plain. Next time, if I do travel here, I will make it a point to do so.

The first night I was there I had a nightmare that I was lost in the mall and being chased by Dalek robots. Exterminate! Exterminate any form of self-ownership or individuality. Laugh, if you will, but I guess there is something nightmarish about suburbia that will always freak me out. I am a child of suburbia, chewed up and spit out because it didn't like the way I tasted: slightly tangy, a little too spicy and somewhat well-done. In this day and age Suburbia and all the values that built it reign king. Suburban Arizona is an exaggerated example of what has happened to most of America. The general populus is appeased by adequate and easily accessible, easily duplicable and cheap consumer objects. They are content to swallow a daily diet of adulterated uniformity in their culture and existence as long as it's fluffed up a bit with an illusion of choice and freedom packaged in clever ways or in theme-styled restaurants (all owned by the same corporations). While I was in AZ, it really felt like I was experiencing some plot in one of the old campy Star Treks. And why has it become so politically incorrect to say these things? Conservatives like to play anyone down who criticizes the state of consumerism today as being snotty or hoity-toity? Is it so classist to insist that people have to right to many choices when it comes to consumerism? Freedom to buy from whomever they please? Freedom to own a business that does not have to compete with a Meglo-Mart.

Am I being pessimistic?
Commie-Pinko Bitch.
Am I a freak for saying and thinking these things?
Why can't you just fit in, instead of complaining like a real pain in the ass? Why can't you just eat your "Just in Quesedillas" or your "TONS OF FUN BURGER" without pointing out how inane or ironic the menu titles are? Why can't you just get in line at the buffet and pick all the croutons and carbs out of your food just like everyone else?

Am I wrong for feeling that this sort of atmosphere isn't exactly conducive to true individualism? (Think about it -Suburbia spawned the Mod (black wearing)/Goth Movements in which youth declares to be different and non-confirmist, yet they remain confirmist in their non-conformity, even to the extent that counter-culture had become pre-packaged for sale in the Mall at shops like "Fat Topic." (Ooops... I meant Hot Topic))

I will never criticize my hometown again. I love the crazy street I live next to with the neon motel signs (which insinuate a little shadiness), the MAX stops. I love the neighborhoods with little novelty and gift shops, the privately owned restaurants where the owner chooses the menu and the specials. We have our Hawthorne and Mississipppi Streets here in Portland. Maybe I just wasn't exposed to the Phoenix equivalent.

Articles and other Rants:

"More Local Restaurants Struggle As Big Chains Eat Their Lunch"
http://www.santheo.com/restaurant/etc/wsj-chains.html

"Death to Chain Restaurants"
http://www.lewbryson.com/other_chains.htm

For those who want to fight the scourge of Fast food here's an idea - "Slow Food"
http://www.slowfoodusa.org/education/index.html

2005-03-15T18:14:00.000-08:00

I'm a little backlogged on recipes because I haven't had a lot of time to write. It's Irish week this week and as I live with a person of Irish descent, we could not escape the customary prep of corned beef and cabbage. It takes a great deal of time and the knowledge of a decent butcher to make proper corned beef. On Sunday, We went over to J's aunt's for a barbeque and I figured I'd fix up a faux Irish treat called Blarney Stones. I believe I have the recipe somewhere in my archives, but I didn't have the time here to link to it. Basically if you take a good white cake recipe, bake it in a 13 x 9" pan and cut into equal-sized squares. Frost with the icing recipe below on all sides and roll each piece in a mixture of finely ground roasted pecans and peanuts. If you're really lazy you can actually purchase a quality poundcake from your local bakery and substitute it for the white cake.

Blarney Stone Icing:
3/4 c evaporated milk scaled and set to cool a bit
2 tbsp melted butter
As much powdered sugar to form a thin but spreadable icing.
(Note, do not make the icing too thick or thin.)

Basically, after construction is complete you have tasty little cakes covered with a hardened coating of icing and roasted nuts. It took me years and the internet to be able to crack the "Barney Stone" (which was the name I had for them as a child) mystery. My one connection to the the tasty cakes when I was a child was a church woman who refused to part with the recipe. Of course, if I'd correctly applied my culinary smarts to solving the problem, I'd have probably figured it out eventually.

On another not so Irish note, here's a snacky item if you love liver and even if you don't. This is one of the few ways that I'll actually eat the stuff. P.S. marsala works just as great as port. I'd use a quality sourdough for the toast.

Deviled Chicken Livers on Toast
1/2 lbs chicken livers
2 tbsp unsalted butter
2 large shallots chopped fine
2 tbsp chicken broth
4 tbsp port or marsala wine
2 tsp Dijon or stone ground mustard
2 dashes (or more) of hot Hungarian paprika
2 tbsp sour cream
Sea salt and Freshly Ground pepper to taste

Six large slices of sourdough bread cut up into quarters and toasted.
Choppped fresh parsley

Chop the livers. If you're not so crazy about the overall texture, which most people who are reluctant lovers of liver are, then chop them somewhat fine. The finer the liver is chopped, the more likely you are to have more of a spread-like consistency. Melt the butter on a skillet over medium-high heat. Cook the shallots for several minutes until tender. Add the liver and cook for 2 minutes. Add the Port and broth and continue to cook for another 3-4 minutes until cooked through. Allow most of the liquid to reduce 0r become absorbed in the liver and shallots. Add the mustard, paprika, and sour cream. Combine well, and add salt and pepper to taste. Heat for a minute more. Set aside for a few moments to cool.

Top each piece of sourdough toast with the liver. Add a small dollop of sour cream and garnish with a generous amount of parsley. You've got to combat the liver breath in some way shape or form :)

I wanted to cry

2005-03-10T18:17:00.000-08:00

Because I'd never been recognized with such a reward... no REALLY. I attended a recognition function yesterday for all the hardwork we'd accomplished in a multi-project expansive release. The food was pretty good at least not Costco quality, and we were given a choice of several nicely diverse activities to participate in afterwards from wine tasting, golf, shopping, and a faux-casino. And the best part... I received a beautiful stainless-steel thermos. Though through out most of the lunch I had that song from the Jerk running through my head:

What else can I buy so that on me you'll rely...
A rear-end thermometer too!

I'm not being facetious when I say that this is the best reward I've received while working at this company, and I truly appreciate the care that was taken to provide the event. Having organized these types of events in tha past, I realize what a complete and utter pain it is to make sure that everything or at least 95% of the details are executed without failure. You know how I feel about the phrase, "flawless execution." Regardless, I am quite pleased with my thermos as it's something that I definitely put to use.

I think it's actually about time that they rewarded folks around here. Actual recognitions and celebrations are few and far between. It's the least they can do as I found out today that we are no longer allowed to watch movies at work (for legal reasons). Our group did this on a quarterly basis (with the option of course of reading and answering e-mail during the movie). Originally, we used this as a cost-free alternative to employee teambuilding or 'fun' events. However, now the corporate powers that be have decided to take this option away from us. I suggested that perhaps we actually have shadow puppet plays and read the scripts to our favorite movies. However, considering the copyright extension laws this would leave our options mainly in the realm of silent movies. We might as well play charades.

2005-03-08T14:20:00.000-08:00

I’m trying to work here, but I hate this. I hate feeling as if I’m being watched. I have a hard enough time working in a cubicle. I’m sitting in the waiting rooom at the courthouse for jury duty selection. I’ve already been called up for the screening process and I was not chosen. Big surprise. They most likely will not select me as I don’t fit the average profile of a typical juror. The woman who was our neighbor when I was a kid served on a jury at least three times that I know of. She’s a housewife, mother of six (or was it five?), may not have completed her college education, and she was very Catholic. Not that I have anything against Catholic housewives, but that woman and her sanctimonious and patronizing attitude made me feel as comfortable as a pair of polyester shorts with all the tags still attached.

She insulted my mother by rejecting us from the school carpool, but I was secretly relieved that I didn’t have to ride to school in a Wagoneer filled with her brood. Namely her eldest son who attacked me on one occasion with the garden hose on full pressure, taking care to aim directly at my glasses. The little freak once knocked a birdsnest down in our yard and gleefully smashed the eggs without restraint. Someone like that cannot be from good people. Years later when I was visiting home from college Mrs. R approached me and asked me a number of nosy questions including whether or not I had a boyfriend. I wanted to tell her that I did not. I wanted to tell her that I actually engaged in meaningless yet satisfying sexual encounters, indiscriminate of the sex of my partners on a regular, no daily basis, and that I was, in fact, a nymphomaniac who could not exactly recall the actual numbers of sexual partners or abortions I had had. Of course, some sense of well beaten in decorum took a hold of me.

“He’s actually living in New York right now,” I replied.
“Well you know you should follow him where ever he is. It’s important that you support him you know.”
She looked as if her mouth was poised to motor on for at least several more minutes. I nodded and quietly evaded her before she could ask if we had any intention of getting married.

If they picked this woman to be a juror at least three times. I didn’t have a chance. Not that I would reject the opportunity.

As I sat in the courtroom during the interview process, and listened to both the thoroughness and clarity of the questions and styles of the public defender/state attorney and the privately hired lawyer. I finally had solid evidence of what I had suspected and known. You really are at a disadvantage if you cannot hire good counsel. In our society you’re basically screwed if you have little or no money. If you’re accused of a crime, and you’re innocent but poor you may be innocent before proven guilty, but unless you have someone sharp working on the jury selection process, your chances are to say the least dismal.

Listening to the responses of my fellow prospective jurors, I learned today that whom I would want to sit on my jury if I was ever convicted of a crime: Those people who honestly voiced their opinion or asked questions regarding the definition of reasonable doubt; those people who thoroughly explained their views and situations; those people who were not afraid to speak out. In most cases, these are the people who are rejected from jury participation.

Stories to Exercise by

2005-03-05T09:03:00.000-08:00

It's a known fact that as you grow older you grow hairier and fatter, literally a Ball of Fat. While my solution to the former is to pluck more frequently, I've come to the grim realization that if I don't want to balloon into a lyra denim beachball, I must visit the gym at least three to four times a week. Screw those "One-A-Day" commercials that tell me that I need to take their damn pills to stay thinner. Do I really need a commerical to tell me that my ass is getting bigger or that I cannot eat a whole piece of cheesecake after dinner as frequently as I once did in my 20's?

I came upon this understanding that my body is changing on my own, and I gradually began to accept the nature of my own metabolism along with the periodic bouts with mild arthritis. More, I'm aware that I not longer work in a profession where I'm constantly on my feet, so I need to balance my sedentary day with motion. I'm not the sort who needs or wants a partner to work out with because depending upon my mood I might be in I might stay longer or cut my workout short. In order to combat the tedium I usually read a short story or article while riding the cycle or on the earlier phase of the treadmill. This week I've been reading more of Guy de Maupassant's stories. Other than the "Necklace" and the "Ball of Fat," I had not read Maupassant since my highschool reading of the stories mentioned above. During my routine, I usually get through about two or three during my time on the bike excepting the last 5 minutes when I turn up the rigor.

In my quest to find more stories I actually came upon the Gutenberg Project, which is a wonderful on-line source of (out of print) literature. Most of Maupassant's stories are posted here. More, there's a wealth of literature available to you. When I owned a Mac with SimpleText I used to pop a chapter or two in a document and let the text reader speak it out loud while I was straightening out my apartment. Hence, I'd developed a cheap version of a book on tape. Of course the voice might sound a little tinny as it didn't exactly sound as if Glen Close was reading the text, and the pronunciation at times was terribly off, but I got by just fine.

On-line version of the stories of Guy de Maupassant:
http://onlinebooks.library.upenn.edu/webbin/gutbook/lookup?num=3090

Gutenberg Project Catalog:
http://www.gutenberg.org/catalog/

Another gym reading suggestion Short Stories by Anton Chekov.
http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/13418

2005-03-04T22:51:00.000-08:00

Tiki Heads mentioned in earlier post. Yes, I've figured out how to post pictures. I'm no interior decorator so my skills with arrangement need some help. I aspire to excel in that leave the junk on the shelf as I find it sort of style. And yes, I'm one of those poor souls who buys picture frames and then leaves them empty because they don't actually take pictures. The white frame pictured here was actually a gift from a good friend. I like the frame, I'm just not the nostalgic sort who takes photos. I prefer to keep the images of my loved ones safely tucked in my mind.

And that is the Pope hiding in the background.

2005-03-04T21:44:00.000-08:00

Close up

Homemade Finger Puppet Project

2005-03-04T00:49:00.000-08:00

Puppers based on the pattern on Knitty.com These were pretty darn easy to make and construct. The duck is made from scrap of fuzzy yellow boucle yarn (sorry, I don't remember the brand). His bill is a small knitted strip made from the following pattern:

CO 3
Row 1 - inc 1 - knit to the end of the row
Knit three more rows
Dec 1 and bind off stitches
Fold the bill in half then sew on the duckie's face.

The finger puppet pattern can be found here:
http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEsummer03/PATTpuppers.html

Homemade Lava Lamp

2005-03-03T23:01:00.000-08:00

I thought this was an interesting idea. Again, I wouldn't do it myself, but mainly because I'm just not a lava lamp kind of gal. Too Greg Brady for me. I think when that episode where he got his own pad aired it just whacked the nail into the coffin for that look and style.

http://www.psychicgoldfish.com/sub_page/whatido/lavalamp.htm

What kind of gal am I? I took a quiz today and found out and unfortunately the answer rings somewhat true. Everything except the coffeeshopthing. I usually get crowded out of a seat by all the other posers who are hanging out in there. Personally, I'd rather be reborn as Karen Blixen before her husband gave her syphillis. I think I've grown past the moping days of listening to the Smiths and lamenting about how unique I am. I know that in many ways I'm not. I'm just a product of this consumer culture jungle we all live in. "I get myself," and that's all that really matters.

Bars and whiskey (good whiskey), that's more my speed. Though since I'm no longer a smoker I find myself hanging in the more yuppie type bars lately. If I can't deal with the fuckers in there, I just drink at home. You think that they would have more hipster (non-smoking) bars around here. But I think that it's easier to get the Irish and the Italians to quit smoking in bars than to pry a cigarette out of the hand of a future PDX log lady.
You can always tell the caliber of the wierdoes you have in a town by the kinds of smegheads* you find on the local public access T.V. stations.

I hate it when people tell me, "You know when you're drinking, your consuming empty calories."
"Empty calories my ass! This stuff's doing its job."**

You're the Tortured Intellectual!
Take What sort of Hipster are you? today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.

You're sensitive, you're emotional, and you wonder why everyone else in the world exists on a different plane. You cannot eat, breathe, or sleep without analyzing each action to death. You're usually sombre, depressed, lethargic, but you can be nearly glad from time to time. You wear whatever you can find on your cluttered bedroom floor. You carry books, notepads, reading glasses with you wherever you go. You have friends, but only a few who truly get where you're coming from. You frequent coffee shops, libraries, and the less crowded bars. You're obsessed with past people, past ideas, past lives. You wish you could die and be reborn as Jack Kerouac.

Gawhd, that picture is AWWWFUL. That guy's just trying too hard to look like he's reading that book. It may be my perspective, but his arms look terribly short and stubby. Maybe he's not a full-sized adult. The book looks like it's actually blank. The girl? She looks like she's been misplaced from a Lubriderm ad.

* Nothing says dork more than ordering a boxed set of Red Dwarf on Amoozom.com.

2005-03-02T22:42:00.000-08:00

Speaking of Kitchen Kitsch

Celebrating Kitchen Kitsch

2005-03-02T09:41:00.000-08:00

Everyone, well almost everyone has some guilty pleasure either from their childhood or that one dish that their mother made that just sends them back to the good times. Mine: Franco American Macaroni and Cheese from the can baked with tunafish and potato chips on top. I'll never eat the stuff again, last time I had it was when I lived as a starving student in NY and it made me downright ill. But in the spirit of nostalgia, I'm keeping the recipe as a sort of food relic. Honestly, I'm sure it it was around with all the preservatives in it it would probably qualify as an actual relic object.

I'm trying to collect a bunch of really BAD, bad campy recipes... If you're game and you've got a real hum-dinger, e-mail me or post on you site and send me the link.

Chili Cheese Cake:
Someone needs to explain to this woman that the concept of a cheesecake and chili just don't jive. Sort of like taco pie.
http://www.recipes-from-friends.com/appetizers-2/appetizers-3/chili-cheese-cake.htm

Twinkie Torte:
This is classic. I used to have a twinkie in my lunch everyday between the ages of 7-11. I wonder if this means that my intestines will be preserved for posterity. This recipe calls for improvised use of green toothpaste as a decorative icing. Hmmm... preservatives and carcinogens...Yum-yum- YUMMMMY.

http://yumfood.net/recipes/twinkietorte.html

White Trash Mint Julep:
From here. This is genius.

Ingredients: cheap bourbon, peppermint tic tac.
preparation: put tic tac in mouth. throw back bourbon.

John Beresford Tipton Bars:
I guess John Beresford Tipton is the creator of this confection. Sounds like he should be making something more along the lines with Beef Wellington or Lobster Thermidore (which I would not know what the latter is without the help of Mr. Belvedere).

With the extra colors in Froot Loops now a days this treat is just technicolor terrific.

1 lb Golden Almond Bars; (5 bars)
1 c Froot Loops Cereal
1 c Rice Krispies
1 c Miniature Marshmallows

NOTE: One pound of almond bark can be substituted for the candy bars if they are not available. Melt candy bars in a double boiler. Remove from heat, add cerals, mix until coated, then add marshmallows. Mix well. Pour into a buttered pan about 7 by 10 inches. Let cool until set. Cut into 20 to 30 small squares.
Source: http://www.masterstech-home.com/The_Kitchen/Recipes/Reminiscent_Recipes/RecipesFromThe50s.html

Some Additional Goodies:
Check out the possum with chestnuts.
http://www.scots.com/recipes/default.htm

Happy Daffodils

2005-03-01T15:54:00.000-08:00

I was looking up flowers and their meanings and I found out that daffodils symbolize "deceitful hopes." Who comes up with these meanings? I found that there's a story attached to all of this posted on the same site. All the pretty daffodils that have bloomed in my garden have stirred up memories of women fixing "Daffodil Cakes" in the spring. Of course, no one does this anymore. I'm sure Brini Maxwell would though :)

http://www.stylenetwork.com/Shows/BriniMaxwell/

Daffodil Cake: http://cake.allrecipes.com/az/DaffodilCake.asp
I was actually thinking of having a kitschy little dinner party for some friends, and naturally I thought of the Domestic Diva of Drag. We were at the beach last year and had the opportunity to watch 'rich folks' cable and we ran across her show on the Style network while waiting for the "Venture Brothers" to come on. Brini demonstrated how to create a Finger Sandwich Cake. I'll have to find the recipe and post it.

The official Brini Maxwell Site didn't have any recipies posted, but I dug around and found a few that I might try out.

DEEP RAZZY
This cocktail recipe can be pre-measured in a pitcher and then shaken over ice in a cocktail shaker to add drama to the Cake and Cocktails soiree.6 ounces BACARDI RAZZ1 ounce sweet & sour1 ounce triple sec1 ounce Chambord1/2 ounce fresh lime juiceShake and strain all ingredients into a chilled 10 ounce MARTINI glass.Garnish with 3 skewered raspberries and a fresh sprig of mint.
This cocktail recipe can be pre-measured in a pitcher and then shaken over ice in a cocktail shaker to add drama to the Cake and Cocktails soiree.
6 ounces BACARDI RAZZ1 ounce sweet & sour1 ounce triple sec1 ounce Chambord1/2 ounce fresh lime juiceShake and strain all ingredients into a chilled 10 ounce MARTINI glass.Garnish with 3 skewered raspberries and a fresh sprig of mint.

Also, She did have an interesting little project for creating a mirror decorated with pills. Hmmm... don't invite anyone with substance abuse issues (past or present) to use your powder room.

How to Make Art with Pills

Materials:1 12-by-12-inch Plexiglass mirror6 1-by-12-inch clear Plexiglass strips about ¼-inch thickCollection of small, round, colorful objects, such as pills and buttonsWhite glueMethylene chloride (a solvent that bonds to Plexiglass; available at most hobby stores)
Tools:Clamps

Instructions:Clamp a shelf in place on the Plexiglass mirror, and bond it to the face of the surface using the methylene chloride. To do so, place a corner of the mirror on the table so the clamped shelf is on a slight incline, and put the needle applicator of the agent at the top of the shelf, at the very crux of the two pieces of acrylic. (The needle directs the flow of the bonding agent more precisely than the tip of the bottle could.) The bonding agent will run down the crack to the bottom, bonding the shelf instantly. Now remove the clamps, and the piece should be bonded firmly in place. (The bond is immediate, so be sure the shelf is exactly where you want it before you apply the solvent.) Repeat this process with all six shelves.
Now it's time to affix your decorative elements. (We used pills, but you can use any other colorful objects.) Apply a small drop of glue to the shelf where you will place the item, then set the item into the glue. If using pills, make sure any printing is upright.
Now your piece is ready to hang; you can do that by attaching tab hangers on the back. Try experimenting with other objects that pique your interest--beauty supplies, sewing notions, etc. Let your imagination go wild!

Safety Tip:Sure, pills make for a very retro Valley of the Dolls art project. But our legal folks still want us to remind you: This is for amusement purposes only. E! strongly opposes the inappropriate consumption of illegal drugs. Gluing them to shelves? Good. Abusing them? Bad. These projects are strictly for adults. Got that?

http://www.stylenetwork.com/Shows/BriniMaxwell/Tips/index4.html